Looking for an answer.

Chapter 4

To my sophomore year I would personally say it has been the hardest year of my life right now. In this year I got to see who my real friends were and somehow I expected it but at the same time I felt pretty shocked. Half of those friends are hypocrites and the other ones their just pretend they’re there but when they have the time they back stab you or when they ask for a favor and you can do it, they unfriend you; like it was some kind of social media. That year I truly went through a rough path. I did stuff I’ve never thought of doing.

To clear something I didn’t had sex nor did something like that. I drank a lot and stole a couple of times. The truth is that I did all those things and the people who knew just did it with me or said I was crazy. And I hate to admit it but in a way I kind of liked doing all those things even though there are bad but the adrenaline and the feeling of being caught I liked it because it made me feel something. After the death of my political aunt and experiencing drinking and parties, I just thought that anything else didn’t  matter because life is just a cycle your born-live-die that’s it! But when you’re young your trying to find yourself and sometimes do stuff that your parents said they were bad because it helps you learn who you are and their sound like pretty good stories to tell your grand kids.

That year I almost failed it, literally I had four bad grades and one more I would had to redo the year. All I wanted was to my parents give me attention, not in the way of giving me love but in the way that they would try to understand me instead of yelling or saying that I don’t know anything or do anything to contribute to this world. Like I get it I need good grades to get to a good college and they help me at stuff, but parents need to understand that schools have changed! They’re not like when they were in school, maybe a little bit. But know their harder and teachers are always giving us work, plus we need to take extra classes for credits and do community work. And the society it’s not like before, there are bullies, health issues, and mental issues. It’s just hard and they just don’t get it!

I sometimes wish my mom could live my life for one day so she would understand what kids my age have to go thru. Society it’s not like before, we get judge by doing things and by not doing them too. We get judge for what we wear, what we eat, our believes, our color, the type of music we hear but mostly is for stereo types. I personally hate that, like I know were not perfect and were always making mistakes but sometimes I would like that society would go back to the 80s or 20s when the nation was still building itself so they can try doing it in a different way and try to understand the world and see it differently. Try to not have wars and hear what people need to say, see other point of view. What this world really needs to have peace its communication. Communication is the key to everything. 

In my sophomore year I went to my first techno concert and it was awesome. I loved it! I went to a skrillex concert with Marley, by that time she was my best friend who I shared everything with. Marley is one of those cool girls, she’s really hipster by nature. She has brown curly hair(long), she’s like 5 height, she’s skinny, pretty and listen to a lot of Rasta music but at the same time other genres. She is the girl that most of the guys like because she knows a lot about skating, soccer plus she’s nice and pretty. The truth is that the concert was supposed to be eighteen and older but we bought are tickets anyways. I spent a really long time convincing my parents to let me go, finally I convince them saying we were going with Marley’s older sister, but guess what? That’s not true. We went by ourselves and we had a great time, we met with our boy-bestfriend-brother and his girl. Skrillex killed it that night, he played like eight or more songs I don’t remember that well. What I remember most is that I drank two cups of DonQ with orange juice in less than three seconds. My boy bestfriend said he was in shocked. After that I drank water because I didn’t want my dad to see me drunk. We left the concert and my dad picks me up at Marley’s house, being there I chew gum. When I got home I went straight to the bathroom to take a shower because my hair smelled like marijuana and I sweat a lot at the concert so I didn’t wanted to feel disgusting anymore.

In the summer Marley was going to move to Florida. So as are last hang out I plan with some friends to go to the Calvin Harris concert. Man I love him. When we got there was long line to enter. There were a lot of cute and hot boys and men’s. While walking around we saw a lot of our classmates, most of the time we pretend it we didn’t knew them. One time when we were moving around the crowd a guy grad my but, like seriously grabbing. When we stop walking I told my friends and one of them said that it happen the same to them, all we did was laugh. That night I really enjoyed it too. Most of the time we spent it outside the crowd. I’m going to put this out there I LOVE DANCING. And spending most of our time outside the crowd, dancing like crazy. It made me feel free, like when you see those movies when their dancing to a song and their kind of high and they see all the colors around them and they feel free, like nothing can touch them. Yep that’s exactly how I felt, without the being high part. But maybe I was high, will never know.

There was this guy with the mask of Deadmau5 and my friends decided to take pictures, and the dude just kissed them. He try to kiss me but he couldn’t, well I didn’t let him. The truth is that I wouldn’t haven’t mine because I could’ve had my first kiss out of my bucket list. But I wasn’t even seeing his face, what if he had some kind of rash or something. Luckily my friends didn’t caught anything. At one time I saw this really HOT men, that look like Chris hemsworth. Yeah I wrote Chris hemsworth the one from Thor, the hottie of the hottie. The one I wish was my baby daddy, yep him. The bad thing about that day was that I was on my period. But yeah in these places most of the time I don’t get that much action.