Looking for an answer.

Chapter 6

On December 30th I was invited to friends party for her birthday as some of my classmates. Since school ended I have keep touch with Connor and Joe, but more with Connor. We have had the most weirdest conversations and I’ve got to know his not the jerk I thought he was. His shown me that beneath that boy who looks like a player, have always a comment for everything plus protest for everything, his a really caring guy that’s been through a lot like all of us at one point and it’s not scared of speaking her mind.

While I was getting ready for the party I was a little bit nervous because he was going to be there. The day before he had texted me kind of excited because he was going to see me at the party. But since then he has answer my text I don’t know why. When I got to the party I felt awkward because my dress was really tight and I thought I was late plus there weren’t that much people. Just for being polite I said hi to everyone, and when I was going to say hi to Connor he didn’t say hi but I kind of making him to. I truly don’t know what was going on with him. So I kept acting normal. When Serena got to the party she look GORGEOUS, btw is her birth day party. So after all of the presentations and all that stuff they do in Spanish birthdays the music started. I got Michelle and told her to come dance with me, I don’t know if I said it before but if I did I’m just saying it again I LOVE DANCING! Michelle told me that she didn’t knew how to dance and I said ill teach her and so I did I teach a couple of girls how to dance “salsa”. Besides Serena I was the life of the party because no one was dancing just the people I make them to.

I hate going to parties when all the things the people do is look at their faces and have silent conversations. I truly believe that parties were made to have fun, it doesn’t matter if you know how to dance or not, you need to have fun, dance your weird ass on the floor at the end no one cares because it’s not a competition. And all of those weird moves you did are gonna become memories and then will look back at them and we will laugh. Plus at parties if you don’t know how to dance or if you’re not such a great dancer you can learn or show off some moves you learn. Parties are all about the memories and having a good time.

Because I was the only retard girl with her high heels still on I decided to take them off. So I went to were my purse was and Connor when I’m about to leave Connor starts walking to the table and I stare at him in a joking way. And he say what you looking at and I say at nothing, then he says what’s your problem and I say nothing and ask him what was going on with him. By that time he was getting really close to me. He said that he was mad at me because I call him and “asshole” the night before and I look at him with the face like are you kidding me? and then I said it was joking that he didn’t had to take it that seriously. Then he got more closer and said that he didn’t like that I called him that and that next time he was going to punch me, jokingly. Then he left and went to the boys bathroom.

After that everything was good. I kept dancing with my friends and being ridiculous. After a while of dancing I decided to sit beside Connor, we talked a little and he made me hug him and kiss both of his cheeks. I scold him for going outside and drink without me and he said that he didn’t knew that next time but that I shouldn’t drink. Then I got up because the DJ was playing one if my fave songs, I tried to make him dance with me but all I got was to hold his hand. I was so glad that the lights were out so he couldn’t see me blush. After dancing a few more song they decided to sing happy birth day and cut the cake. I decided to go to the bathroom, honestly my I pee a lot, I think my bladder doesn’t like me. after going to the bathroom id notice that Connor wasn’t there neither Joe. So I thought they might be outside. But after a while they didn’t come back so I guess they left and I texted him saying that he hurt my feeling because he didn’t say good bye. The next day he invited me to a Jazz Fest but I couldn’t go.

The week before the party I went with Michelle to the movies and we had invited Connor but he couldn’t make it. After the movie Michelle and we text him that how can he ditch us?! He answer that he was sorry but he could find a ride but that next time we will go see a movie, that I tell him the day and he’ll miss her baseball practice to go. I said that I didn’t want him to do that, because I played sports for a while I know that there are some coaches that will get mad at you for missing a practice but he said that it was all right because he wasn’t having that much games. And that night was the second one he call me “ baby” but this time my friends got to know. FYI this was all with my phone…

After Michelle told the other what happen they starting saying that he was into me but I didn’t knew what to believe, because at the same time they would say to me that he was a player. And one time I saw a conversation of his and I just didn’t knew if to think that his treating me differently or the same way as his girl-friends. So I decided to just go with it.

After trying a few time to go out and could find an exact day. We ended up going to the movie again with my cousin Taylor( She’s the one I talk about before a few days ago) who was visiting from LA and Kelly and his brother that are from my last school. At first it was all really awkward and I was really nervous because I’ve never gone out with a guy that I like. When we got the movie room we sat all together. It was Connor, me, Taylor, Kelly and her brother. We started talking about what happen on the weekend. And in a moment Kelly sends me a text saying that I should shut up and I kind of did because I know that sometimes when I’m nervous I tent to talk a lot and loud. So we stop talking and started to watch the movie, the movie was Jack reacher from Tom Cruise and honestly it was horrible.  Because we stop talking he started mocking me while pushing my chair and saying it wasn’t him but I caught him a couple of time then I mock him because I know he was tweeting and if you have twitter you know that when you tweet it make a bird noise. So I started saying to him that he should stop whistling.

When we were leaving the room he put his arm around my shoulder and we started walking like that, I could feel his perfume all around the air and it smell great, i don't know which perfume was it but i like it. Then we separated because I went to say good bye to my friend and when I came back I was going to invite him for a walk but he was kind of mad or something and was talking on the phone asking someone if it was going to do something. So I kiss him on the cheek and when with Taylor to ask her what she wanted to do. And when I look back he already left. I texted him and asked him if he was okay but he said he was fine and I knew he was lying so I ask him again and he said he felt awkward and I said that I was sorry if he felt like that. At the end we ended up fighting and we didn’t talk to each other till the first day of school. I’m going to be honest it was really hard not to text him and it always made me wonder if he had the same trouble.

The first day he tried talking to me but I kind of ignore him. It was really hard ignoring him that day at school, plus his best friend didn’t went to school and he look like he didn’t knew with who to hang out and make me feel bad for him but I didn’t knew what to do. That week we shared a lot of looks and every time it was harder and harder not to talk to him. But I said to myself that if he really felt something for me he would have texted me after the fight or would have kept trying to talk to me right or I’m just exaggerating? I just wish someone would tell me what’s going on.