Falling For The Fallen

My New Beginning

For some, moving to a new state meant losing your friends, maybe even a lover. For me it was a new beginning, a wonderful fresh start. A one way ticket out of the hell hole I called home. My family used to be happy, and loving. We were our towns trophy family. Everyone wanted what we had. Our lives were perfect. It seems like just yesterday my family and I were sitting around the dinner table, laughing and telling each other about how our day went. How I miss it. But like all good things, this too came to an end. My perfect world came crashing down off of cloud nine, the day my father walked in on my mother and my fathers dearest friend... in bed together.

That day was the worst day of my life. The scene of my mother and all her nakedness in another mans arms, in my fathers bed... still haunts me to this day. My loving father, who worked so hard for our family, to make sure we all had the best. Betrayed, by the woman he loved the most. The very woman he would've given his life for. His love was unconditional, and true. But I guess, for the wicked woman that I call mother, his love just wasn't enough. The day my sweet father found them, he hung himself... With a suicide letter hanging from his cold blue hands. My mother still will not tell me what the letter said. Every time I bring it up she just sits down and cries. Wallowing in her own self pity. To be honest, I don't even feel bad for her.

Now, my mother is a workaholic, I never really understood why. Maybe to her, I'm a dull reminder of him, and her mistake that cost her husbands life. The father of her daughter and her son. My older brother, Derek, was old enough to move away at the time of the tragic event. So of course, he ran. Half across the country. He has a family of his own now. A beautiful wife, a sweet little boy. I'm happy for him. Ever since he left he has only contacted us once. He sent my mother and I a letter. Containing a picture of his growing family. No words, no "I love and miss you", just a simple picture. To my mother, this form of contact meant nothing to her. But to me it meant everything. It assured me that my older brother, my previous partner in crime, was alive... and happy. And someday, hopefully.. I'll be able to live this tragedy down and finally be happy again.

_________________Chapter One: My New Beginning___________________

"Saphire sweetie! Say hello to our new home! Oh my, it's lovely!!" My mother gushed as we pulled into the long winding asphalt driveway leading up to a castle like home. Giant Roman styled Columns supporting the roof of the home that seemed to tower over the trees, beautiful stone covered the outside of the home making it look unbreakable and strong. Huge double Glass doors stood as a warm inviting. The front lawn was beautiful with thick golf course grass and gorgeous Pine Trees that seemed like they were centuries old. The house was truthfully amazing. But it wasn't "home".

"I'm going to take a look inside!" I yelled over my shoulder as I carried the first box into the house. I never knew I had so much stuff until I had to pack it all in card board boxes and shove it into my mothers SUV along with her belongings. I'm surely not looking forward to emptying all of these boxes, and organizing all of my things in my new room. I had my old room just how I liked it, and it took a while to get it just right.

The inside of the home was quite different from the pictures online. The pictures made it seem smaller, homey, with warm colors. Now, it's large and empty with cold dark colors. Victorian style furniture was left by the previous owners, making this home look even more old. "Darling your room is just up the stairs and its the door at the end of the hall." mumbled my mother while pointing towards the open cherry wood staircase. Of course, my room is at the gloomiest end of the hall. Can this house get any more cliché?

As soon as I got to my room I couldn't even see my floor, but in its place were a sea of cardboard boxes. "Lovely. Just lovely." Three hours and 27 minutes later my room was finally finished. After all the packing all I want to so is sit down and bury myself into my book. The world of reading seems to be the only place I seem to find any happiness these days. Maybe this town will be different, maybe my life will be better. Maybe school will be better, hopefully no one finds out about my past. Or maybe, just maybe this school will be exactly like the last. Hell.

_______________________|Flash Back|_____________________________________

The lunch room was chatty, loud, and happy. That was until I walked in. As soon as I stepped through the doors everyone got silent. Even the lunch ladies stopped chattering about Betty cheating at bingo and how hot the new janitor was. It was as if time slowed down and put everyone in a trance with their eyes fixated on me. Watching every move I made, just waiting for me to burst in tears or throw a fit of rage. Normally, in this situation I would have felt humiliated. But taking place of previous humiliation was emotional numbness.

As I walked towards the back of the lunch room to sit by myself in all of my misery, Janice the queen bee of her pack of insecure bitches decided to confront me. "Saphire sweetie I'm so sorry. We never knew you were the daughter of a whore! Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree now does it?" She spat with a snakelike smile and a pop of her gum. As she did this her "friends" snickered behind her in unison. Inside, I was outraged... And all I wanted to do was rip her throat out. But I needed to stay strong and not let her get to me.

"Janice move." I snarled as I tried to walk around her. "Don't you dare tell me what do." She screeched. The next thing I heard was a loud slap. That echoed off of the cafeteria walls. Followed by a stinging sensation in my cheek. The crowd that was gathered around us gasped. All of a sudden darkness started to blur my vision. Pulling me into the dark. It was comforting actually. So I let it overtake me, and in seconds I was on her.

Screams of pain flooded my ears. I had no control over my body and I didn't know if the screams belonged to me or someone else. As light started to invade my vision I saw Janice on the cafeteria floor covered in blood and cradling her face, while sobbing hysterically, and begging for it to stop. As hands came down on her face, punching her. Blow after blow and each coming with a sickening crack of bones. What was even more sickening, is that they were my hands. But I had no control over them.

My mind was screaming at my body to stop, but my body evidently was going on its own accord. As I watched my hands continue to beat her nearly to death I felt someone else's on my sides pulling me off of her and holding me down. It all seemed so surreal. It was as if I was in a haze. Hearing my heart beat wildly, with sirens blaring in the background of the sound of my heartbeat. It was all too much. My heart begun to slow down. And I invited the darkness to me this time. It was comforting almost. To get away from the craziness.

______________________End Of Flashback___________________________

And with that accomplishment, I was awarded with a Juvenal Criminal Record for violence, fines, a restraining order, and expulsion.

That was the final straw for my mother. And part of the reason we moved. But this move was for the best, a fresh new start. My new beginning.

********************A/N***********************

Oh my goodness!!! It's finally here!!!! I had so much fun writing this! Please vote and comment below. Thank you guys <3 Song on side.