My Poems

Pain

it hurts
so much,
like a dagger being driven
straight through my heart.

the pain,
I can't handle it anymore.
it drives me crazy,
insane maybe.

the truth of it all,
is it hurts more to hide
than it is to show.

I was once happy
and full of joy,
but ever since that dreadful day,
that ever so dreadful day,
I have been turned into
a mess gone
wild.

I'm a walking horror film,
filled with pain and sorrow.

when I sit in the corner
there's a never ending hurt
in my heart and head
as tears stream down my face
in frustration and anger

I'm not mad at you,
or anyone else.
I'm mad at me
for being so hard on myself
and judging everything I do
and not giving myself
enough appreciation.

I'm too hard on myself,
wanting everything
I do to be
absolutely,
one hundred percent,
perfect.

you're great and amazing,
and so are our friends,
and my family;
you all are better than me
in every way possible.
and that's what hurts.

it also hurts when
you can't do anything right;
everything you do is wrong.

when you feel so alone
and no one can do anything
to help.

when you are rejected by
the one you care most about.

when you feel so numb
that you don't believe
you can feel anything anymore.

when you are so depressed
you can't get out of bed
every morning.

when you cry
yourself to sleep
every night.

when you're confidence
and self esteem
are so much lower
than everyone's expectations.

when you don't believe
in Neverland anymore.

when you can't see straight
because everything
around you
is a complete
blur.

when you're so tired
you can't say anything right
or walk in a straight line
because you feel so drunk
on depression and social anxiety.

when you can't get enough sleep
because of your insomnia.

when all your feelings
are fucked up
because of other people's
mixed signals and
your messed up
way of thinking.

the pain is
too much to contain.
it's too much to keep inside.

you can't do it
on your own.

I can't stay here
and watch myself
wither away,
piece by piece.