Mind of War (On Hold)

Song's Burden

Song was asleep, but the weight of life was beginning to take its toll on her. She awakened plagued by the thought of Team Liberate silently falling apart from the inside. Bliss is ill, though she won't admit it. Kai has been keeping secrets which are impacting the team. Onyx has been disappearing lately for his own reasons. The world she has always known is swirling around her. Her only solid resources includes: her father, Free, and herself. "How did this happen? Is someone secretly infected? If so, how bad is it? Will it infect all of us? What's really going on?" She asked herself. Tears threaten to fall from her eyes as she pondered over the possible problem. "Maybe, I'm the problem," she told herself. "None of them trust me anymore." Free told her that their suspicions about Bliss were confirmed by Kai. "Kai opened up to her and not you. He trusts her more than you." Said a voice in her head.

Free had told Song nine months ago that she really liked Kai. Therefore, Song became extra careful around him. Though she only saw Kai as a friend, Free had become a very close friend of hers as well. Song didn't want her to feel as if she was stepping on her toes. For nine months she has kept some reasonable distance from Kai. "Maybe that's what made him feel like he couldn't talk to you." The voice said again.

Eight months ago, Onyx started disappearing for days at a time. When she asked him about it he brushed her off before telling her that his sister was sick. "I had no idea that he had a sister!" Song cried to herself. Her and Onyx had grown up together since they were small. His parents were good friends of her parents. But after her mother died, her father kept extreme distance from Onyx's parents. He didn't want Song to go inside their house when Onyx parents were there. Even to this day, Song has only been to their house a handful of times, which is strange considering the fact the Onyx is a welcome guest at her house. Song never had the courage to ask her father what happened because she sensed it had something to do with the passing of her mother, which after all these years, is still a painful memory for both of them. Reflecting on her mother briefly, Song began to cry, wishing she could go back in time and see her mother one more time. If only I had one more day with her, I would drink everything in, so that I could hold on to her memory forever. She wiped the tears away. The pain has made her a stronger individual, she learned to look far into the future, but always live in the now for you never can know when something or someone will cease to exist.

Even through the distance, Onyx had always been a good friend to her and Song thought the world about Onyx. But that day eight months ago, he dropped her heart and made her feel like a stranger. Song felt a pang in her heart just thinking about him. She would've died for him any day. She recalled that the next day she asked him about his sister and he angrily told her not to ask about it anymore. So she didn't ask him about his sister, or anything else from that day forward. Her heart was beginning to hurt. Through all of the secrets and distant friends, she was still good to them. She told no one of Onyx's sister, never questioned Kai's loyalty to the mission, never told a soul of Free's feelings, and she never told Bliss that everyone already knew because everyone is human. People have flaws and imperfections, and on this journey called life, people have to try and survive to the best of their ability. But bearing secrets is not a gift but a burden. Song muffled a sob, footsteps approached her. Quickly, she turned to the wall.

"Song, love if something's wrong you can talk to me. I may not understand, but I can try," her father said, but the texture of his voice told her that he was tired. Song laid perfectly still and clenched her jaw, so not to make a peep. Her father stood in her doorway for about four minutes before sighing and walking away. Once he was gone, she felt guilty. She had been suffering with these secrets for 153 days, five months. But this was the first time she woke her father up because of it. She trusts him 100%, but Song refused to burden him with this. Especially knowing that everyday he hurts too. The one she really needed to talk to left her life fifteen years ago, when she was three years old. Her mother, the woman she could never remember, regardless of how much she tried.

Song didn't want to cry again, her father didn't deserve that. So she thought about something happy. The day she met Creed. That day brought happiness at a time when she was tumbling in despair. He gave her hope. Free introduced him to her, as a good friend of hers. They lived in an underground community within the tunnels. Creed too was a Shadowhunter and a professional at that. Free always told Song that she lived in a Society of Shadowhunters and she had friends there who were professional in their business. This intrigued Song and she expressed to Free that she was interested in learning more about her Society. Creed was the first person Free introduced and for the past five months, the three had grown very close. Creed was mission minded and sharp as a tact. Just watching him conduct his business showed her that he was trustworthy. Song knows that she can trust him with her life. Slowly, these positive thoughts engulfed her to a peaceful world of sleep, thinking of Creed was the perfect remedy for her painfully sleepless night.