Running

Chapter 32: Can We?

Can we go back to the beginning? Can we start all over? Now that I know all the mistakes of this relationship can we hit the reset button to never make those mistakes again. But there is no reset button. I can't change the fact that I let the love of my life walk out of my life. The second the door shut I wanted to run after him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and beg him to stay with me. I don't care about the life that lies ahead of me as long as it's with him. I've been staying in all week and graduation is tomorrow. I'm still not going. I can't see him anymore. It's better that we both move on. I can't ask him to take me back I can't put him through all this again. If I really love him then I'll let him go. I hear a strong knock on the door. I don't want to get up, I just want them to go away. The knocking won't stop so I open the door.
"Mom."
"Well at least you remember you have a mother. What's wrong with you? You don't call? Your graduation is tomorrow. Don't think I forgot!"
I drag myself back to bed not wanting  to hear her rant.
"What's wrong why are you so distant lately?"
"Mom I really don't want to talk about it or go to graduation."
"Why?" She asked curtly.
"I just can't." I begin to cry.
"Are you sick."
Yes of the heart. I nod no.
"Well then I am sorry. I am so sorry that i was such a bad mother because I raised such a weak child. Here I thought I raised a beautiful, confident, smart and strong woman who doesn't let life knock her down. I'm sorry I really thought I did a good job, but apparently, I failed as a mother."
"Mom this has nothing to do with you."
"Yes it does because everything you become is a reflection of who I am." She begins to clean up my room.
"Mom what are you doing?"
"You're room is a mess."
I lie back down. We're both silent for a few minutes until she speaks.
"After Dakota was born the first person I thought about was you. For so many years I thought you were going to be my youngest forever but after I gave birth I felt as if I betrayed you this promise. I thought you were going to have the most trouble with Dakota and you but when you first met her you became like a second mother to her. She looks up to you the most. She's so excited to see you graduate. Well, she was. Scarlett you have always been an unexpected child. When we thought we were having twins you made it triplets, when I thought you were going to be difficult with Dakota you protected and loved her, and when you ran away you came home for guidance. You're a runner Scarlett always have been and always will be, but it's the fact that you don't settle that will be your rise and fall. Eventually you're gonna have to stop running from what you love most. It isn't until you do that that you realize where you belong. When you stopped running from us, your family, you rediscovered your home." She's about to leave when she turns back at me. "I love you Scarlett but whatever it is that you're trying to escape... It just might be your destiny."