Fix You

Chapter 8

You finally decided to give back John's clothes to his parents and all you kept from was the jacket and the ring you gave him after your engagement (because "why should women just have engagement rings?"). And there you stood, that little red box posed on your dresser. You could still see that day when he put a knee down and opened that same red box like if it was yesterday. You look at the ring on your finger and smile. If only you could just travel back in time and make him stay with you that night. But you couldn't, you were alone in that dark room, only lit by the moon and that box wasn't in his hands anymore. It was time to move on. You glance at the nightstand where you could barely see the picture of him. You bite your lip as if it could actually make the pain in your stomach go away. Your eyes found your hand again and with a deep breath, you slide the ring off your finger. You lit up the little lamp to examine it. You turned it, and read 'Our love can only last forever'. You knew he was right back then. The love you both had would never go away. You didn't need a ring on your finger to remind you that, right? You read the sentence over and over again. 'Our love can only last forever'. You glance again at the picture of John. He was smiling, all peaceful and you were down there fighting against your pain. You took a deep breath and put back the ring on your finger. "Not tonight" you say to yourself as you closed the box and put it back on your dresser. "I will do this. One day I will do this" you repeat to yourself.

"Y/N!" Ashley shouted from the living room. "Someone is at the door!". You sigh and shout "Can't you open it?". "I'm with Joey!" she shouted back. You groaned and open the door to go to down the hall. "And so what? Your boyfriend makes you loose your legs?" you joke as you open the front door. Darren was standing there, all smiles. You had no idea how much you needed to see his smile until you opened that door. "Hello beautiful" Darren greeted. "I have this for you" he says as he pulled up a bag in front of your face. "Hi, uhm, what is it?" you ask as you let him go inside. "Strings. For your guitar" Darren explained. "What? No, Darren. I can't accept that. Keep them for you" you say as you hold the bag back to him. He tilted his head and looked at you with a smile printed on his face. "Nope. I won't. I bought that for you. Take it as a gift, okay? You can't turn it away" Darren shrugged. He pushed the bag back to you. You chuckled and hugged him. "Thank you so much. You didnt have to" you smile. He put his arms around you and said in your ear "Well I did anyway. So smile". He looked back at you as your bodies pulled away. You grinned at him and kissed his cheek. "I don't know how to put them on though" you admit. "I can do it if you want to" Darren proposed. You glanced at the guitar, John's guitar. No one touched it beside you since his death. "I won't touch it unless you want me to" Darren added. You looked back at him. If you had to trust someone, it would be him. He was the only guy you trusted that much since John. "Yeah you...you can" you manage to say.

Darren flashed a reasurring smile and slowly took the guitar before sitting on the couch next to Joey and Ashley. You sat in front of him and watched him high five them. He started to change the strings and you just stay there, probably staring at this point. You never noticed how important he was for you before. His eyes were the only ones who were able to see through you, his smile to make you grin. You had no idea how he managed to make you trust him, but he did. "Here you go!" Darren squealed as he put the guitar correctly on his lap. He played a few random notes and immediately his face seemed to lit up. "Guitarren is back folks" Joey exclaimed. "Guitarren?" Ashley frowned. "Darren and Guitar" Joey chuckled. "Man I missed this" Darren said as he starts to play a familiar song. "I love this one" you smile. "It's one of my favorite...would you sing it with me?" Darren proposed. "Whooo" Ashley and Joey cheered in the background. "Sure" you accepted.

Darren focused on making the song work on the guitar and started to sing "So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention, do you?". You saw Ashley and Joey glancing at each other from the corner of your eye, but you ignored them. Darren made you a sign to you to go on with the song and you did "I know you don't listen to me, cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?". Darren smiled and nodded, which made you smile once more. He looked at you right in the eyes and sang the bridge "And on and on, from the moment I wake, to the moment I sleep. I'll be there my your side, just you try and stop me. I'll be waiting in line, just to see if you care". He looked at you weirdly...could he meant that? His eyes were full of something you were not used to seeing anymore. Or at least, not to you. Care? No. More than that. Love? 'Oh no' you thought. You looked away and went on with the song "Did you want me to change?". You glanced at Ashley. "Well I changed for good" you saw her smiling, and you looked back at Darren. His eyes frightened you. He couldn't love you. Or even like you. "And I want you to know that you'll always get your way" you sang. You even asked yourself if you meant what you said. Those words, him, the way he looked at you. He joined you with the chorus "I wanted to say. Don't you shiver?". The sounds of both of your voices and the guitar were the only thing audible in the cozy living room. You finished the song and all those thoughts in your mind couldn't leave the whole time.

You found yourself looking away from him the whole night. He's a nice guy but..will you be able to love someone else? To build something new? You weren't sure about that and he would have been rude to let him think you were. When Joey and Darren were about to leave, Darren hugged you and you quickly pulled back. All you could see was the feelings he may have for you. How the fuck did he manage to have feelings for the only girl in that huge city who is probably as destroyed as a human being can possibly be? Ashley closes the door behind them and turned to you. "That was fun, right?" she asked joyfully. You were looking at your feet. He is in love with the wrong person, you thought. "Are you okay?" Ashley asked as she came closer to you. You felt her hand sliding down your arm and you look up at her, your eyes full of tears. "Ah sweetie" she said as she pulls you into a hug. "He loves me, he loves me" you kept repeating between your sobs. Ashley waited until you calm down a little and added: "Y/n, he doesn't want to hurt you". "I know it's just..." you sighed, "I'm gonna destroy him like I destroyed John". Ashley pulled away and made you look at her. "You never destroyed anyone and you never will, okay?" she said right into your eyes. You put your arms around her neck and buried your face in it, like a kid hiding in its mom. "I'm so scared, Ashley" you admit, before bursting into sobs again. "I know, I know...but you don't have to be. Everything will be fine" she says as she rubbed your back up and down. But you couldn't believe her. His love for you will only lead to pain. And you won't allow him getting hurt.