Fix You

Chapter 11

"Come on, let's go inside" Darren said. He put an arm over your shoulder and drags you inside, shutting the door with his foot. He leads you to the living room where Joey was. "Hey! You're ok?" he asked. "Yeah I'm uhm...I'm okay I guess" you stutter. You look around as if you discovered the place again. Everything looked so different somehow. It was pure silence. You glance at the bar and saw a glass of whisky. "Are you drunk?" you ask Darren, your face to him. "I just...no, I mean I-" "It's mine. I just felt like drinking" Joey explained after he cut off Darren's ramble. Silence once again filled the room. It was like silence had a temperature, ice cold, freezing you to the bones. That was so weird. "Well...since you're here I'm gonna go to Ashley's. Uhm...have a good night" Joey said before taking his coat. After a brief wave, he went out and closed the door behind him. Darren still held you in that ice cold silence. He lead you and put you on the couch.

"Do you want anything?" Darren proposed, his head down to you. "No I'm good...just...sit, please, sit" you ask. He rubbed his hands on his thighs and sat next to you. You rubbed your hands over your lap. You felt like crying again. Shit. You took a deep breath and look at him again. He seemed worried. And in love. Damn, those eyes. He was looking at you like you were unique, precious and the only girl he could see. Why did he choose to give this look to you?

"I can't do this, Darren. I just can't" you started to panic again. "It's okay, y/n, I'm here. You don't have to panic. Just talk to me" he smiled. Gosh, and his smile. The only one that could make you feel special. Darren put his hand on yours so you would stop shaking so much. He was here. "I will hurt you Darren. I...I'm not ready. I still talk to John and I'm still crying because he's not here anymore. And I'm scared. I'm still scared that I could be happy again, because I'm not sure to remember what it feels like, an-and I'm not sure I want to! Everything could be gone with a snap of a finger. I can't let that happening" you explain. Your eyes found your lap again, and without even notice it, you were crying. "It's okay" Darren whispered. "And I can't do this because you're great, and I'm not ready and I will hurt you and I don't want to hurt you, Darren. I really don't" you add. You raise your head to him again, to see him smiling. Was he mocking you? "What?" you ask, confused. "You're just...really cute" he says and put a lock of your messy hair behind your ear. "Y/n, you don't need to say anything" he whispered as he put his hand against your cheek. It felt incredibely warm in comparison of your cold insides. "I know all of those things. And I will wait. No matter how long or how hard it will be for me. I will wait for you. Because I know that deep down in you, you know you and we have the same feelings about each other. There is a reason why you don't want to hurt me, why you put so much effort in trying to push me away. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stick around until you are ready, until you're ready to learn what happiness is, and when that day comes, I will do my best to make you happy because I love-" "Please stop" you push his hand away. "Why? Because it makes me more real?" he asked. He kept looking at you, when your eyes was just trying to find something to stare at. You finally ended up staring at your hands. "It's already real for me. Saying it out loud or not won't change anything" Darren explained. He raised your chin to make you look at him. "I love you" he said right into your eyes. A single tears flew down your cheek and was quickly brushed by Darren's thumb. "I'm sorry I reacted like that. That was idiotic" you say. "No it wasn't. Come here" he motioned for you to come closer and you did to find his arms around you again. It was like a brand new safe place. It warmed your insides, twisted your emotions and calmed you at the same time. The hug seemed to have lasted forever and not long enough at the same time.

"Come on, I need to get you back to your house" Darren whispered when he pulled away. "No, you're not. You're drunk" you exclaim. "What? No I'm not" Darren frowned. "And you let your friend take his car after drinking whisky?" you raised your eyebrows. Darren sighed. "I know you" you add. "It's okay, I will just go home by myself". "No way I'm letting you driving in this state" Darren shakes his head. "And what am I supposed to do then?" you ask. "Stay here. I will text Joey to tell him to stay over there and you can take his bed". You thought about it for a minute before agreeing. Darren remade Joey's bed for you and gave you one of his shirts as pyjamas. It was nice wearing his and having his smell on you. You both quickly said goodnight before going into your respectives rooms. His shirt made you wonder what it will feels like to sleep with him, to feel his reassuring arms surrounding you and to see his eyes when you wake up in the morning.

An hour passed and you felt more and more stupid with your thoughts. No, you won't wake him up just to answer a idiot question. You closed your eyes, decided to sleep when you heard him speaking. He was probably on the phone or something. Which means he's not asleep, you thought. You quickly went out of the bed and walked to his room. His door was open, and there he layed, with a tablet in his hands. "Really Chuck? We can talk about that in the morning!" Darren whines as he looked at the tablet. "Dare?" you say shyly as you lean on the door. "Uuuh female voice. Is that her?" you heard the man saying. You felt yourself blushing. "Ok I'm hanging up now. Bye bro. See ya" Darren quickly said before he hang up and put the tablet on the nightstand.

"You're uhm..." Darren looked at you up and down and swallowed. "You okay?" he finally asked. "Yeah I just..." you sighed. "Forget it. It's stupid" you say as you were about to go back to your room. "Not fair man! You start, you finish!" he giggled. You smirk and go back to the door. "Do you mind if I...I mean, if I join you in bed? I feel kinda lonely". Darren's eyes almost pop out of his body as he stuttered "S-sure". You climbed onto the bed and turn your back to him. You were both on the extremities of the bed, afraid of any inappropriate movements. Darren tried to perfectly put a pillow between you and him, and you just watch him with an amused face. "Is that like a...fuck barrier?" you joke. "What? No. Ew. Gross" he exclaimed as he pats the pillow. "Really?" you frown. "I mean not gross. I mean you know with the feelings things between us. It's not like it would be gross, you seem to have a fucking great body and- wait no. I mean yes but" he sighed. You pinch your lips not to laugh. "Oh crap. I'm gonna shut up now" he adds before laying down in his original position. You grin and turn back at him to kiss his cheek. "That was cute" you whisper to reassure him. You lay back down and kept a smile on your face. 'He loves me' you thought. It's nice. You could get used to it.