Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel For Dummies (ON HOLD)

Cordelia's Quotes

"Oh, I would kill to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes?"

"Ooo! Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him.."

"I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight, I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side"

"Oh please. I don't mean to interrupt your downward mobility, but I just wanted to tell you that you won't be meeting Coach Foster, the woman with the chest hair, because gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker."

"What is your childhood trauma?!?!"

"Hello, Miss Motormouth, can I get a sentence finished?"

"Ouch!!! Please get your extreme oafishness off my two hundred dollar shoes"

"Where did you get that dress? This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knock-off? This is a knock-off, isn't it? Some cheesy knock-off. This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements."

"People who think their problems are so huge craze me, like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg. Like my pain meant nothing"

"But, you should have seen him lying there, all black and blue. How's he gonna' look in our prom pictures? How am I ever gonna' be able to show them to anyone?"

"This is all about me! Me, me, me!"

"You're always around when all this weird stuff is happening, and I know you're very strong, and you've got all those weapons. I was kind of hoping you were in a gang."

"I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me"

"Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser-being?"

"Buffy - love the hair. It just screams street urchin."

"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."

"Damn it, Xander, what's going on? Who died and made you Elvis?

"I aspire to help my fellow man.'Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross"

"It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix, and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have suffered. Of course, I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, 'I already have a lot of character.' Is it possible to have too much character?"

"So can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly."

"We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax"

"Buffy, these men are rich, and I am not being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money."

"Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer"

"Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs?"

"I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed"