Chimon - This Moment

Chapter 3

Cheryl walked back into the living room and handed Simon a nice cup of tea before situating herself next to him, taking a dainty sip out of her own. For the next few moments, they sat in complete silence, just sipping their tea and enjoying the heat that emitted from the elegant fireplace positioned in the middle of the room.

With a deep sigh, Simon turned his body towards Cheryl and put down his tea, wearing a serious expression on his face. As the silent engulfed them, he parted his lips slightly and looked deep in thought, making her shift her weight uneasily in anxiety.

"Why do you do this to yourself Cheryl?" Simon finally asked, more concerned than serious.

"What do you mean?" She asked apprehensively.

Simon shifted his eyes towards the stack of cluttered tabloid newspapers that lay strewn across the floor. Cheryl's eyes followed suit and she acknowledged his query, but didn't speak. She continued to drink her tea and stare intently into the cup when she didn't preoccupy herself with taking sips.

Simon reached over and gently took her cup out of her hands, placing it down on the table next to his. He scooted closer to her and asked again.

"Cheryl, why do you do this to yourself? You're not doing yourself any favors by reading that rubbish." He explained warmly.

As Simon perused her countenance, he could tell that she was trying very hard not to cry. He figured that it was because she didn't want him to see her as a blubbering mess, but for all the right reasons, he didn't want her to hide her emotions – especially from him. However, at this moment after seeing her reaction, Simon feared that maybe he shouldn't have brought up the topic so soon. It was a touchy subject and he wanted to take it as slow as he possibly could. If anything, he wanted the talk to be more of a cathartic nature than anything else.

A single tear escaped Cheryl's eyes and she turned her head away from Simon to brush it away. Simon reached forward and rested his fingers on her chin, gently pulling her face back towards his own.

"Hey" Simon said in a hushed tone. "You don't have to be ashamed. I don't want to push this beyond your comfort zone, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm here to listen." 

Cheryl stared into Simon's eyes like she's done so many times before, but for the first time, she felt like she was actually seeing him. Simon was an interesting character and was certainly one of the most charismatic men she's ever met. Without question, he was still her boss and he was old enough to be her Dad, but there was something about him that Cheryl found strangely...attractive. In a strange way, it was like this mysterious feeling had been there all this time without even a smidgen of her awareness.

Over the past few weeks, Cheryl took drastic measures to lock herself away from everybody and resist any talks of her personal dramas; but somehow, for some unexplainable reason, she felt herself caving into Simon's affection. Without any justifiable explanation, things were just different with Simon. Whenever he was around, things just seemed to fall right into place, and in this moment as she gazed into his adoring eyes, everything felt strangely and inconceivably right for the first time since her fall.

Simon raised his eyebrows slightly, urging her to say something.

"I don't know Simon." She said as she ran her fingers through her fine auburn hair. "I don't know why I read those papers when all they do is pierce me in the heart repeatedly. Maybe in this weird kind of way, it makes me feel again, you know?"

Simon gave her a puzzled look. "How do you mean?"

Cheryl sat in silence for a while to gather her thoughts. "It's just that ever since I found out about the affairs, I felt like I lost a part of myself. It's kind of like I'm physically here, but my soul is lost somewhere...if that makes any sense." Chery answered timidly, feeling like she was talking in circles.

Luckily, he nodded in understanding which allowed her to breathe a bit steadier. 

"I know Cheryl; it's hardly a private matter. Even the public, who don't really know the real you, could tell that a part of you is gone, but you have to know that you can fix what's broken with time." Simon reassured while trying desperately not to sound cliche.

"It's not just that. I mean, sometimes I'm not even sure if I'm alive. And those articles, everything that I read, it really hits hard and in a strange way it makes me feel like I'm alive again." She explained candidly, noticing Simon shift in his seat uneasily. "I'm sorry, you probably think I'm a right psycho." She said with a slight chuckle.

"No, not at all. I would never think that of you. You must know that I think you are nothing less than extraordinary." Simon said as he reached forward and placed his hands in hers. "You are a remarkable woman Cheryl and any man would be blessed to be able to call you their own."

"Then why not him?" Cheryl asked with a quavering voice. "Why not my own husband who vowed to love me until death? He was everything that mattered to me Simon. No matter how much I hear from other people that I should divorce him, they just don't know." She cried out in frustration.

Cheryl lowered her voice before continuing. "I don't want to be branded as a fool, but nobody knows how much I love him. I love him so much that it's literally killing me inside. The thought of leaving him tears me apart, but the thought of riding this out any further kills me just the same. I feel like no matter what I do, I can't win."

Although Simon didn't say it out loud, he could understand how she felt because seeing her in so much agony was absolute torture for him. If there was one thing for certain, Simon knew that he could sit through endless bouts of horrible auditions, he could tolerate being repeatedly bashed by his haters, and he could bear it if his career plummeted into the gutters, but what he couldn't endure for much longer was watching Cheryl in so much pain. He thought the world of her, and for the life of him he couldn't believe that a man could be so stupid to let her go.

"Cheryl, I can't tell you what's going through his mind because I honestly don't think he's got the right mind to have done what he's done. But I can surely tell you that he's the most foolish man I've ever known. Believe me, that is saying quite a lot because I have met a fair share of foolish people throughout my life. I'm sure many people will agree with me when I say that he never deserved you, and I'm absolutely certain that there is a man somewhere who will treat you like the princess that you are. He'll be dignified, admirable, sincere, honest, and believe you me he'll recognize a good thing when he's got it. Cheryl, if you don't take anything away from this, just remember to never doubt yourself for one minute because he's not even worth it darling."

Simon reached forward and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're worth it." 

Cheryl wiped a stray tear from her eye. She opened her mouth to speak, but she just couldn't find the words. Instead, she did what she'd been doing best for the entire week.

She cried.

Cheryl placed her hand over her heart and rubbed it faintly to ease the pain. Her bottom lip quivered and tears flowed freely from her eyes. With an unsteady voice, she tried to talk but none of her words were coherent. Simon hushed her and pulled her into a tight embrace. At this moment, no words were needed as Cheryl sobbed into the tender arms of Simon Cowell. Simon tightened his grip on Cheryl and rested his head on top of hers.

"Sshh, it'll all be okay sweetheart." Simon said while applying gentle strokes along her back. He hated seeing her like this. Before now, he didn't really know how it felt to have a broken heart, but how he was feeling right now had to be pretty damn close because his heart ached like never before. He was hurting for Cheryl, and there was nobody in the world at the moment that he hated more than the ludicrous Ashley Cole.