Unbelievable - Larry Stylinson Fanfic

Chapter 18

A/N

This is so incredibly late I am so so sorry.

BUT I JUST WROTE THIS CHAPTER BC I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHERE I WANT TO GO WITH IT AND YAY HELLO AGAIN... ENOUGH WITH MY CHATTERING, READ.

Chapter 18

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Louis' POV

Denial.  That's what I'm doing right now, I'm in denial.  What just happened out there wasn't just a kiss.  That was us kissing, me and Harry...and I knew he could feel the way I felt towards him.  My walls crumbled down...there was nothing I could've done to stop it.  And as much as I tried deleting it from my memory, it remained.  

I was curled up on my sofa in my dressing room with the door locked. Tears started to form in my eyes,  but I didn't know why.  That... that kiss was the best thing I've ever felt ever, but it couldn't have been more wrong.  He's my best friend, at least he was.  Who knows what the hell our relationship status is.

I just don't know what to think.  I thought I was getting over these stupid feelings, but apparently not.  But I think the thing that has me nearly in tears is the fact that this "fake dating" thing is hurting me... I think I might want it to be real... but that's wrong.  It's SO wrong.  

I curled into a tighter ball and fisted my hair just as I heard a knock on my door.

"Lou... Louis let me in." I stayed silent.  I can't face him right now.  Seeing him will just hurt.

"Louis come on, we need to talk.." There was a hint of desperation in his voice as he banged on the door again, but I just ignored it.  I'm starting to think that Harry might like like me, but he can't.  "We" can't happen, no matter how much I may want it to.  He's way too good for me, I don't deserve anyone half as good as him.

"Louis... p-please... I need you."  I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, but I know what I heard.  He needed me.  Before I could stop myself, I stood up and walk towards the door and placed my hand on the door knob, but then I paused.

I stood there for a few seconds when I heard a whisper from the other side. "...Boobear..."

My self resistance melted away and I slowly unlocked the door and opened it.  On the other side was a miserable looking Harry.  He looked like he was crying just as much as I was.  

"Lou..," he croaked out, heartbroken.  I sniffled and looked up at him. "W-why did you run o-off the stage?" he hiccuped.

"I--I--.." I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.  I just shook my head and looked down.  I couldn't tell him why, he wouldn't understand.  

Harry stepped toward me and gently grabbed my arm.  "Why Lou? W-was is something I've done?"  He questioned himself, as tears started forming in his eyes again.

My eyes widened as he said that. "No Harry, you did nothing wrong... at all.  It's just..."

"Just what?" He asked, eager to hear my answer.

I sighed knowing that he would never drop this. "Harry, I was scared."  I looked to the ground not wanting to look him in the eye, but that didn't stop him from speaking.

"Scared of what Lou? That I would hate you? Kissing is something we'll have to get used to... it's fine." His words sounded almost pained, like they were forced out of him.  But I shook my head again, he doesn't get it.