No Hope Left-A Mockingjay Story

Chapter 25

I haven't slept in days. I also haven't gone to the doctor's office in days. I haven't seen Vince in days. Maybe, the reason as to why I haven't seen him is because I haven't really been looking. All I've done these past few days is stare at the ceiling. Sometimes, I think of her, and I go on a rampage, punching the wall and screaming my throat out until it hurts. Then, I go back to lying on the floor, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling. I don't know how long I've been doing this. The bottomless void on my stomach tells me I need to eat. Each morning Snow comes in to cut off Darius' fingers. Now, they've cut off his toes too. I haven't watched that either. But I cannot block out Darius' screams. If you listen closely enough, you'll hear him trying to say: "Please."
Peeta. Her voice rings through my head.
Peeta. I hate her. She has caused so much suffering.
Peeta.
"Peeta?"
I turn my head to look at Annie. She seems twice as small and skinny as when she first came here. When we first came...when was that?
"Peeta!"
I snap out of my reverie.
"Annie," I say. She moves closer, wrapping her hands around the bars of the cell. "What is it?"
"What happened to you?"
I look at her blankly.
"Why are you so different?" she presses.
"Don't bother," Johanna says. I don't look at her, but she sounds weak.
"Peeta," Annie whispers.
Peeta. Her voice is inside my head again. I grit my teeth. She would be enjoying this right now. I hate her. I close my eyes. Orange bubbles are floating around...I guess I'm losing it now. I'm walking in meadow. It seems so familiar. A bird flies above me, whistling very human notes. I look at it in wonder. It starts to sing...
"Are you, are you,
Coming to the tree?
Where they strung up a man
They say who murdered three.
Strange things did happen here,
No stranger would it be,
If we met, at midnight, in the hanging tree."
I know that voice. It's beautiful. Where have I heard it before? I float back to reality, but I keep my eyes closed. I can hear the others talking.
"...aren't coming," Johanna says.
"So what, they're just leaving us here to rot?" Enobaria snaps.
"Yes, dim-wit," Johanna fires back.
"Cut it out, you two," Neil says. "Let me think."
"What is there to think about?" Johanna asks.
"They haven't tortured us for days."
"Sure. If you don't count listening to an Avox scream his guts out as his fingers get cut off," Enobaria sighs.
"Well, yes--but look, this just isn't right."
"Maybe something big is happening," Annie suggests.
"Whatever it is, we should be prepared. Vince said he was contacting the rebels on a two-day basis," Neil says. This is not new to me, but I wonder how the others know. "They need to get here soon. Peeta's condition is worsening. And Darius needs immediate medical attention."
My condition is worsening? I pry my sticky eyelids open and sit up with great difficulty. I look straight at Neil. He is still coated with dry blood and in bad need of a shave.
"What about my condition?" I ask.
Neil looks at me carefully.
"You've been doing nothing but lie on the floor and yell your heart out for the past four days. You haven't drank any water and you have a fever."
I close my eyes to proccess this. The orange bubbles return. I force my eyes open again.
"What is happening to me?" I ask Neil.
He only shakes his head in defeat.
"I don't know," he says.

One of the guards has turned off the lights, but I can't sleep again. Instead, I prop myself up against the wall, staring at where Darius' cell is. I fiddle with a loose stone, turning it over in my hands carefully. The darkness around me swirls and takes on different shapes. First I see a mockingjay, then I see a girl with blonde hair. She must be around thirteen years old. I think I've seen her in a dream before. I wonder who she is. Across from me, Darius lets out a pitiful whimper. He continues whimpering and I cover my ears with my hands in a feeble attempt to block everything out. Suddenly, he stops. Thank goodness. Now it's quiet again. I sigh in content.

Before I know it the lights turn on. I shut my eyes because the lights are too bright. I open them again.
"How are you feeling?" Annie asks me. I shrug. Vince comes in with water. He actually opens my cell door and puts the glass of water into my hands.
"Drink this, please," he says quietly, before closing the door behind him. I look at my reflection in the glass. My eyes are rimmed red. My hair is too long for my liking. I have a nasty bruise on my cheek.
"Hey, what's up with Darius?" Enobaria asks, a sudden edge in her voice. I look over at the Avox. He's still on the floor, pretty much knocked out.
"Darius?" Neil says. "Wake up!"
No answer. I focus on his chest. It isn't rising and falling. It's very still.
"Darius!" Neil yells. "Darius! Wake up!"
"He's not going to wake up," Enobaria says. Neil looks at her with red rimmed eyes.
"He has to," he says through gritted teeth. "He's been through too much to give up now."
But unfortunately, Darius gave up. I expect Snow to be surprised when he comes in.

But he's not. Instead, he looks relieved. Talk about great acting.
"Send for the Avoxes to take his body away," Snow tells Hadrius. Snow then looks at me. "Tell me, Peeta, how do you feel?"
"I hate you," I spit out.
"Best thing he's said all week," Johanna laughs. Snow gives her a cold smile.
"Miss Mason," he sighs. "What a shame three Victors--the last ones, by the looks of it, spend their last days in cells, at the mercy of the Capitol."
"Shut up, you b-" Johanna starts.
"What do you mean, last Victors?" I cut in.
"I am afraid, Peeta, that Katniss' rebellion has killed many Victors. Goodness knows if any survived."
I look down at my bloodied hands.
"Tell me Peeta, how did you ever love her?" Snow asks sadly, giving Johanna and Enobaria a smile before walking out the door. Hadrius smirks at me and leaves as well.
"How did I ever love her?" I echo.