Types of Attraction

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Quick Disclaimer: I wrote most of this book before coming out as non-binary! I may use my birthname and female pronouns, but those do not currently honor me. Hi! My name is Lane, and I use they/them pronouns. Hope you enjoy!

This is a big difference I want to get cleared up now. I'll be using these terms a LOT, so be prepared!

SEXUAL Attraction: The feeling one experiences when they see someone they want to have a sexual interaction with. This definition is hard to pinpoint, as it can be different for everyone. I think it is the idea that sex is not an instinct, but again, you can define it differently.

ROMANTIC Attraction: This is when you have feelings for someone in a way that makes you want to date them or have a romantic relationship with. Sexual and romantic orientations are often confused, so be aware!

SENSUAL Attraction: This is more than romantic, less than sexual. This is usually when someone wants to kiss someone or cuddle, but not go as far as a sexual encounter.

AESTHETIC Attraction: Aesthetic attraction is the recognition of being attractive. So when you see someone and think, "Ooh, they're cute," that's aesthetic attraction.

These terms will be brought up many times, so if you are unclear on any of them, please comment your questions on any of them!

NOTE: Previously I had said that sexual attraction could present itself as arousal, but this is false. Being aroused is part of libido, or sex drive, so you could be an asexual, but also have a high libido.

NOTE 2: A lovely person in the comments reminded me about platonic attraction. This is when you see someone and want to be their friend, but not a romantic or sexual relationship. Along the same lines, however, the term "squish" is sometimes used in the aromantic (see next chapter) community as a sort of platonic crush. This would be someone who you want a very strong friendship with, and you could also want to spend your life with that person, be that marriage (because remember, marriage does not have to equal romance) or just knowing them and having them as a friend.

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