The Asexuality And Aromantic Spectrum And My Experiences

Coming Out

Quick Disclaimer: I wrote most of this book before coming out as non-binary! I may use my birthname and female pronouns, but those do not currently honor me. Hi! My name is Lane, and I use they/them pronouns. Hope you enjoy!

So this is going to be a bit if a different one, as it will be a bit more of a story/guide.

I came out to my mom as asexual today, February 1st, 2016.

And it feels so good to finally tell her. I've been out to my friends for quite a long time, and this is the first family member I've told, after over half a year of keeping it inside.

I tried to tell her in a letter. I wrote her a letter and then hid it somewhere it would be easy to get, but she wouldn't know it was there if I didn't tell her. I left it under a stack of books, and that night when I went to a rehearsal, I texted her and told her to read it.

However, she didn't check her phone until she came to pick me up at rehearsals, and she didn't read the letter. I had to tell her in person, in the car. I just looked out the window and said it, "I'm asexual."

She immediately asked what it meant, and when I did, I also addressed why I know, which probably wasn't the best idea, because she also said, "Isn't that what all people your age feel?"

Mom, you don't get it. This is who I am. This is who I will be. I'm not going to change. I didn't say that though. I wish I did. I recommend that.

We got home, and she read the letter. I wish I had it with me to type out so I could show you, but it wasn't very eloquent anyways.

She did say that I had the definition of asexual wrong, at which point I wanted to scream. BE PREPARED FOR THAT.

But after a lot of explaining and tears, (Tip: DO NOT WEAR EYELINER OR MASCARA WHEN COMING OUT TO SOMEONE IS SCARY) we came to terms. I said that maybe I will change, but I don't think that I will, and she said that she will accept me no matter how I choose to identify now or in the future.

I still can't believe I did it. My mom now knows I'm asexual. And I honestly couldn't be happier.

Please, if you are thinking about coming to someone as anything, not even on the ace spectrum, just in general, please leave a comment because I want to help as many of you as possible. Or, if you have your own experiences you want tot share, please do!

Love you lots,
~Katie