The Educator (dark h.s)

Chapter 46 - green grass

At one point or another, everyone loses people in their lives. It's the cycle of human life, but that does not by any chance mean it hurts any less because I had had 17 years to prepare for it. The death of my dad left me genuinely confused, I did feel sick to my stomach, though I wasn't sure what the source was. It could either be the sight of my dad's lifeless corpse, surrounded by his own body fluids or the actual fact that my dad had ceased to exist.

My conversation with Harry did reassure me somewhat, I felt like something inside me had snapped. All my life I hadn't just moulded in, people would never fail to scrutinise and judge me, making assumptions based on my parents' record as to what sort of person I truly was. I rarely felt wanted, or that someone backed me up. If I were to fall, no one would be there to catch me.

However, the other night, when I did fall, when I completely lost my lustre and wanted nothing but to end it all, someone did catch me. And that someone was Harry. That night had flipped my world upside down- I got to know how big of a lie my life had been, and who that Educator guy truly was, what role he had in my life other than my captor.

"Breakfast's ready!" We heard Gemma call from the kitchen.

Almost as if on cue, my stomach grumbled. When was the last time I ate? My queasiness was gradually subsiding, yet I was slightly reluctant to eat.

Harry offered me his hand and I gladly took it, letting him lead me to the kitchen which was filled with delicious aromas. He turned, pressing his back against the door to give me room to pass and go into the kitchen first.

"I hope you like eggs with bacon and hash browns." Gemma smiled.

"Of course I do. Who doesn't?" I grinned eagerly, taking a seat next to Harry.

As we all situated around the table, I immediately sensed the tension between the two siblings. It was almost squeamish - not the tiniest of looks exchanged, brushing against one another would be avoided at all costs whereas frowns pulled at each of their faces. It was funny how similar both frowns were, seeing they were brother and sister. It was almost like they had decided on the silent treatment together.

I do recall losing one of my only mates because of the notorious silent treatment two years ago. She used to work as a farmhand, helping out at the farm her family ran. I remembered how she had backaches, her fingers forming rough calluses due to the fatiguing physical work it required. Anyway, what ignited the fight, I do not remember. I just know that it had started with a week of silence and just carried on from there.

It's a difficult pattern to break; usually both sides get so caught up in the fight and their pride, that it's even harder to come to an agreement and make up. Just like my ego got the better of me, refraining me from apologising to my former friend.

It's toxic.

Hoping I wouldn't add fuel to the fire, I spoke up.

"You do know you'll have to talk to each other at some point, right?" I said softly.

It got deadly quiet, neither of them replying or chewing on their food. I peered over at Harry to find him deep in thought, succumbing to the raging war inside his head. He suddenly plucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, making a clicking sound.

"Gemma here seems to think it's okay to judge someone before knowing the motives behind their actions." He said bitterly, putting pepper on his eggs and bacon.

"Judge? Use your freaking bonce, You're missing the whole point here, Harry! I know you're hurt, but why hide all this information from me? Did you ever stop to think how unfair it is to leave me out, here I am worried sick for my brother's health, losing my mind just waiting for you to get your annoying arse back home."