So now that its finally December (thank god btw because November was the worst tbh) it can match the story a bit so squee!
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It was just a few days after Michael had told Isaac about his insomnia and Isaac felt even more sad and depressed than he ever has.
He looked up insomnia, to learn more about it of course, and it was just bringing him down.
Some articles say it can cause depression, or maybe stress. It isn't curable, that maybe Michael would need treatment for it.
The thought of Michael being depressed made his chest hurt, and a lot of people who have it usually say sleeping pills don't work.
He couldn't help to feel bad for Michael, and he didn't know how he could help at night.
He considered doing the method Calum and Mike used in Misfits, sleeping with the person at night, but then realized that was a book and that it was probably written by a 14 year old.
Plus it just sounded really cheesy and cliché to him, he could barely cuddle Michael alone without wanting to puke a rainbow and squeal like a little girl.
He thought sleeping in the same bed as him would just be sort of awkward and weird.
He wasn't against stuff like that though, he does believe in gays, pansexuals, bisexuals, all that glory but he knew that if he ever became any of those his mom would most likely disown him.
Sometimes growing up Christian was difficult.
He still is forced to go to church every Sunday and he really didn't want to anymore, he'd much rather just hang out with Michael or Ashton, maybe read some Larry fan-fictions.
Thats usually what he would love to do on a Sunday morning, but instead he's dragged out of the house and to church.
Not that he doesn't like going to church and to refresh his mind. But there were stuff that made him cringe and realize his mom wanted him to be so innocent and be her "perfect" child.
I bet Jordan's her favorite, he thought, I bet he is that innocent perfect child she wants, she doesn't give a damn for me.
His vision became fuzzy and his eyes started to sting; my own mom hates me just like everyone else does, he tried to shake the thought from his mind but it didn't go away.
Instead it just echoed.
He took in a sharp breath, blinking back the tears and looked over to the older boy who was currently watching Pokémon.
Isaac slipped away, going into the bathroom and locking the door. He unlocked the locked drawer under the sink, seeing the blades all scattered.
He took a breath, he was planning to take a shower later, but he needed to hide his cries. He already had clothes on the counter so he just stripped from his clothes and turned on the shower.
He waited some for it to warm up and in the mean time looked at himself in the mirror.
All he saw was fat, he thought he looked so chubby and he hated it.
He grabbed a blade from the drawer, feeling the cold metal press against his fingers, he let out a quiet sob and held his wrist over the sink.
And then he started dragging it against his skin, and each one was just a bit deeper than the last. As usual, the stinging stopped after a bit, and just made him forget his pain.
He stopped once he counted ten, ten cuts on his left arm. But close enough together for him to cover up with bracelets. Then he looked at his other wrist, few fresh cuts from a week ago, and just decided to leave it alone.
He noticed his wrist was dripping with blood, so he just washed it under the water of the sink, biting his lip harshly trying not to scream from the pain. He never really cut deep the past couple months, so this sort of brought him to a new level.
He stopped and just got into the warm shower, closing the glass sliding door and sat in the corner of the shower but to where water still hit his back. He sniffed, letting tears fall and small cries come out.
He hugged his knees to his chest, he felt too sad, too weak to do anything anymore.
He didn't like being like this, curled up in the corner of his shower, wrist stinging like crazy, his heart aching.
He just felt so alone, and that no one even cared for him.
His siblings didn't bother to make sure he's okay.
The fans don't even care about him.
His own mom probably despises him.
He had no one, sure he had the 5sos boys, but he didn't think they'd care either.
No one would care if I was gone, he thought, I'm just a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.
"- Isaac?"
The voice made his eyes widen and his mouth hang open, the glass shower door was foggy but he could clearly make out the bright red hair in the bathroom.
He was frozen, he couldn't move, he didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to say.
God but his heart was slamming against his chest and he didn't dare to move.
All that was on his mind now was the bloody mess he left with the blades on the sink, blood all over the counter, and Michael seeing all of it.
All the blades.
All the blood.
All his sadness.
And the stupid cuts.
He wanted to scream, he felt like he was going to cry, he felt embarrassed and stupid and- god if his mom found out.
He gulped down a lump in his throat and just stared at the bright red blur that was Michael's hair through the foggy glass.
"I-Isaac did y-you?"
"Oh fuck!"
"Isaac, y-you did d-didn't you...?"
"Oh fuck!"
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A/N: Enjoy that little cliffhanger mwahahaha, I'm so evil. But wow next chapter is the twentieth thats a lot.
Thoughts on Isaac maybe (still?) considering on doing the Misfits method with Michael's insomnia?
Thoughts on Isaac relapsing :( ?
Thoughts on Michael walking in the bathroom and seeing it all?
Remember to leave a vote, share, and comment, and I will see you lions later! *rawr*
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Secrets ➸ Misaac
Fanfiction"I'm stuck in between a nightmare and lost dreams..." Two boys from two totally different places end up living in the same house for an anonymous amount of time, secrets are shared, but some may spill. But, what happens the one night they're left al...
