Two Sided

[25] Here We Go Again

For the next few weeks Sam and Matthew had been hanging out and doing things together and Sam loved every minute of it. She seemed to learn new things about Matthew everyday and she felt like everything was perfect. It came time for holidays Christmas was coming up and Matthew had family back in Arizona that he was gonna go visit. So Sam helped him get ready for the trip and sent him off. The rest of that day Sam clung to her phone. She had Matthew text her every time he got off the plane and boarded one. She couldn't help it knowing he was flying made her nervous. All the stories about planes crashing just made her feel queasy. Matthew ended up not texting her back and Sam found herself board so she went in her room and thought of something she hasn't done in a while, but would sure take the edge off things.

She walked to her dresser drawer, got a little box out, then went to the closet next to her bathroom, and got the bong out of the closet. She checked the clock on her phone that read 3:15 and decided she would set an alarm at 5:00 and another at 5:30. Sam planned to try to regain herself at these times, and then go on with her day. She closed all the blinds on the windows and got a bunch of junk food out. She sat on the couch and filled the bowl. Sam just looked around the room then lit it and began to inhale the fumes.

She felt so free and weightless. When she looked at the world all around her she didn't have to worry because she felt that timed had stopped. The colors seemed to jump out and pictures of people began to talk to her. Sam swore that Freddly was talking to her and that they were having a lovely time. She was laughing and playful till she was scrolling through the pictures on her phone and saw a picture of her and Matthew. Everything felt as if they stopped and time had begun again. Sam sat there on the couch slumped like a potato with her phone in hand lost in thoughts until she felt something warm touch her thigh and drip down her leg. She looked up but nothing was dripping through the ceiling, but when she looked down she only saw a red trail when suddenly warm red liquid came rushing out of her nose. Sam still in a daze had no idea what was happening and ran to get tissues and try to clean up the blood.

Franticly running around the apartment tissues in hand and breathing heavily. She tried to blow her nose, but that only made it worse. Once she did blood began to gush out faster then before and red chunks slimmed together came out too. Sam didn't know what to do anymore so she stuck her nose under the faucet in her kitchen and let the water catch the blood. She stood there till the bleeding stopped, whipped her nose, got some chips, and sat on the couch. Sam closed her eyes, but when she opened them back up it was because her alarm had gone off. When Sam went to turn it off she noticed three missed calls, and six texts from Matthew. The thing that surprise her was all the texts from Matthew. One about landing safely in Arizona, but the rest was about him asking if she was ok. Horrified Sam said to herself "Oh no.......not again".

The only thing was today Matthew wasn't like Grayson even though she didn't know what was said or anything Matthew didn't come at her or attack her all he did was worry about her and ask if she was ok. This is what made her smile. She knew getting high probably wasn't the answer, but it felt good just to know that Matthew was only worried about her. She texted him back telling him she was ok and that everything was fine, then asked how the flight was and how he was doing. Sam sat there and waited for a reply, but didn't get one. She kept texting him telling him what she was doing and texting "Hello?", but he never replied. Four hours had passed and she finally texting him, but all he did was get mad at her for her telling him that she felt as if he abandoned her. Sam didn't mean it to hurt him it just bothered her that her whole evening was spent relentlessly checking her phone just to get no reply. Then when her and Matthew did text her he just seemed to get mad at her for being upset.

All she could do was sit there with tears strolling down her cheeks. Sam let her mind wonder as she stared at objects in her apartment. "What am I suppose to do?" Sam asked herself as she stared at the ground. The only thing she found herself doing was staring off into oblivion with tears streaming down her face.