We are Human: Coming Out Colorful

I don't want to keep it a secret forever

I currently identify as a straight female. thats not entirely true. The female part is. The straight part....not so much. Most people know from a pretty early age who they truly are. I guess I figured out I was different in the 6th grade. I was about 12/13 and thats the stage when most teens do question their self. I heard from a lot of people this is when we're the most "confused". So thats what I thought. I thought I was confused. I would see guys and like them and would see girls and like them. at the time, I didnt know if there was a name for this or even if anybody else had the same feelings. I felt like I couldn't talk to anybody about this because they would hate me or think im gross and would never talk to me again. so I kept it a secret and tried pushing the feelings to the side. but the feelings got stronger and more powerful. I didn't understand why I couldn't decide on liking one gender. so I started researching it and figured out about the term "bisexual". After reading in on this I figured out that this was what I am feeling and this is who I am. I live in a small town in indiana and most people have a religion here. my family has many people in it that are very strong christians. my grandpa is a homophobe. some people in my family i feel would accept me. others im not sure about. I 100% know that i am bisexual and have for about 2 years now. I've only ever told one person. this is why. I was sitting with my dad, my stepmom, and my sister at a restaurant. There was a girl working there and she was really cute. all the feelings that i was trying to forget came back. i felt as if i was gonna explode if I didnt tell somebody what was going on. so I pulled out my phone and texted my friend (K). K has been a really close friend of mine for about 2 years. I felt I could trust her with my secret. so i told her. I wanted to cry and take it back but I couldn't. she was very comforting but she didnt say the words I wanted her to. she said "youre probably just confused. maybe youll get over it soon." I didn't reply. i felt hurt and gross again. i havent told anybody and i do have a crush on a guy and a girl in my grade. I don't want to keep it a secret forever. but how am i supposed to tell other people if the one person i trusted didnt accept me?