isn't it funny
how many condescending, conflicting thoughts there are in your head
when you really start to think about it?
"you can't talk about yourself that's selfish and conceited you have to be polite and ask the other person how they are first"
"you can't act like you don't like yourself that's just annoying"
"you can't not talk about yourself because it makes it look like you want someone to ask and like you want attention"
etc etc etc
I feel like I could make a thousand examples of this but for each thing there would be a thousand mental arguments
more of me fighting with myself
in my own head
it's so hard to get out of this funk
it feels like a never ending loop
I don't know how to stop hating myself
but it's such a big part of me I don't want to know
but I also want to get better so maybe I won't be such a disappointment
but at the same time I am nothing without being this mess of a person I made myself
I don't even know anymore.
everything in my head goes against anything I think; all at once and all the time
I would say i have voices in my head but I thought about that. I even named them. Monty, Hannah, and two others. I've tried to forget about them but I always remember the first two because I feel they represent me the most. but what if they are really just different parts of me? or if they are just different quirks. or different emotions and I just don't know how to label them an emotion instead of giving them characteristics of a human being?
fuck
I don't know
and I don't know how to figure out
YOU ARE READING
unrealistic
Non-Fictioni dont see the point anymore what the fuck am i still doing here why do i contemplate the decision when i could just go? everyone would be better off ive seen the pictures together the memories with eachother they have told me i am not apart of any...
