Letters To Gavin.

Chapter 10

[A/N: the video is so so so cute, so watch it cause mavin and you'll cry (Ɔ ˘⌣˘)♥ -Mia ]

(Michael's p.o.v)

I haven't gotten a letter, a skype call, nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

It must have been what I said. It was too soon, I knew it. I fucking knew it.

 I lost Gavin. I lost my best fucking friend, my everything, and it's all my fault.

It's been a week since I sent the letter, and a week since I got any sleep. I was so anxious about sending it. I couldn't think about anything else than the letter.

But I guess his silence is his answer.

I should have known. How could I have been so stupid?

I said little as I arrived to work this morning. I had been trying my hardest to keep all my bottled up feelings inside and keep a straight face. 

"Hey, Michael." Barbara said, looking concerned. I hated how she always knew my true feelings, but she gave me comfort in a way other people couldn't. "Are you okay?"

I frowned and walked off. I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

Walking into the Achievement Hunter office, my eyes went straight for the empty desk next to mine. My eyes started to sting but I forced it away. I smiled at Jack, who was getting ready to start filming AHWU.

"AHWU number 136!" He said, happily. 

He started to talk about Achievement Hunter merch with Barbara while Ray played at his desk. I sat in Gavin's, ignoring my racing heart and starting to edit to take my mind off of him. I got up every once in a while, talking with Jack or messing with Ray, who was in the zone. 

I was standing with Jack, and I realized I had something to say. He handed the mic to me.

"I would just like to say, Gavin please come home." I felt my eyes start to water.

"And fucking edit Quick Bits." I added. "Because it sucks so you do it."

I returned to his desk, wiping my eyes with my jacket sleeve. Jack continued to talk about merch and the scavenger hunt. I put my headphones on and continued to edit. After a while I returned to talk about game dates, and other stuff, putting on yet another face to hide the emotions I felt.

After AHWU, I wandered around the office. With Gavin and now Geoff gone, there wasn't much for us to do. 

 I ran into Barbara while busy wandering, even though I tried avoiding the conversation I knew was waiting.

"So are we going to talk now?" She asked, motioning me to the direction of her office.

I sighed, following her. As we walked I had the strangest feeling that someone was following us. 

She sat down at her desk, which was filled with papers regarding RTX and many other things. I sat down in the chairs facing her, wanting nothing more than for this conversation to reach an end.

"What happened? And don't try and give me some bullshit lie either." She said. 

"Yeah! What happened?!" A voice shouted, making Barbara and I both jump.

I turned and saw Joel laughing as he leant against the doorway. We laughed along with him. 

"Nothing, Joel. Now get out of here." Barbara joked.

"Oh, fine." Joel said, placing a hand over his chest and gasping. "I know when I'm not wanted."

We laughed. "You can be so dramatic sometimes." I said, shaking my head.

He chuckled and walked away, allowing us to continue.

"I haven't gotten a letter, Barbara. Nothing." I said, putting my head in my hands.

"Gavin hasn't sent one?" 

"Yeah. After what we had talked about the night of the dinner, I realized my true feelings for him, and I told him." 

"What did you tell him?" She asked.

"I told him how I truly felt. How much he meant to me, and I haven't gotten a single thing back." I said, sighing. 

"No texts, tweets, anything?"

"No. And when I try and skype with him, he ignores my calls. I don't know what to do, I don't know what  I'd do without him. I can't lose him now, not after everything I've realized about how much our friendship means to me." I said, feeling my eyes water.

Barbara got up from her desk, and I got up from the chair, walking into her open arms and finding comfort in her embrace. I felt my eyes sting, and I let small tears fall, no matter how weak I felt because of them.

"Come on, Michael. It's okay, Gavin doesn't hate you, I don't think he could ever hate you. Maybe he just needs time to let everything you told him sit in. Maybe he feels the same way, maybe he doesn't. And even if he doesn't feel the same way, he's not going to hate you for it. It's going to be okay." She said, rubbing my back comfortingly.

We pulled away, and I wiped my eyes and smiled at her. Words couldn't describe how much I fucking loved Barbara for being so supportive. 

"Fuck, Barbara. Thank you so much. Sometimes I never really know what I'd do without you, or Gavin for that matter."

"No one would know what to do without me, duh." She joked, going back to her desk. 

"Hey Barbara, I love you." I said, feeling a million times better than I did earlier this morning. 

She chuckled, taking time to answer.

"I love you, too. But not as much as Gavin loves you."