Letters To Gavin.

Chapter 18

[A/N: sorry for the wait, and i know this chapter isn't all that great but you should stay tuned because the end is near hint hint wink wink -Mia]

(Michael's p.o.v)

"I'm back home, Michael. Everything will be okay. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't say anything."

"Michael, please. It was a mistake, I realize that now." Tears brimmed Gavin's eyes as he pleaded over and over again for forgiveness. 

But he should know by now that forgiveness doesn't come easy from me. 

"Gavin, stop it. You've hurt me more than anyone could ever imagine, and that's not something we can just throw under the rug and forget about. I allowed you in and as a result I got hurt." I said, closing my eyes in an attempt to calm myself down. "You've ruined me, Gavin, and I don't think I could ever fully recover from what you've done to me."

"Michael, I never meant to hurt you. All I ever wanted to do was love you." He whimpered, tears falling from his flawless face. 

"Gavin." I said, letting my own tears fall. "What's done is done, and anything between us we had shared earlier is gone now. It's done." 

"Michael, you can't do this to me!" Gavin cried out. "How many times do I need to apologize to you for you to realize how truly sorry I am?" 

"It's done. We're nothing but co-workers, and that's all we ever should have been." My head hung low as I walked out the door, leaving my best friend and my one true love behind. 

"Michael." He cried out.

I never turned back.

I woke up in a cold sweat, feeling tears roll down my face. 

"Gavin." I whispered, laying my head in my hands as I sat upright in my bed.

This can't be happening again, I thought I was over him. 

Not again. 

I wiped my eyes, stretching and yawning as I got up to get ready for the day.

I decided first to take a shower, letting the warm water wash away the mixed feelings I had experienced in my sleep. 

After stepping out and changing into today's clothes, I was ready for another day at the office. 

Upon arrival, I found Barbara stepping out of her car with a grin plastered to her face.

"Hey, Barbara." I said, flashing her a grin of my own.

"Good morning, Michael." She replied, beaming.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked, holding the door open for her as she stepped into the cool air of the office lobby. 

"Just some good news." She said, going in the direction of her office. 

"What kind of good news?" I asked.

"Only the best kind of good news." She replied, grinning wider than I thought was physically possible.

I was going to say something else but decided against it. I figured she'd tell me when she was ready.

I continued walking towards the Achievement Hunter office, bumping into Burnie and Joel and watching them grin just as big as Barbara did earlier.

"I swear, is something going around? Everyone just seems really happy."  I asked, confused.

"There's never a reason not to be happy." Joel replied, patting my shoulder.

"He's got a point." Burnie said, cracking his own grin. "I hope you've been doing good, Michael."

"I have been." I lied, forcing a smile. 

Something in his expression told me he didn't buy it but nodded before walking off, Joel following.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair as I walked into the AH office, grinning at Geoff and Jack as they greeted me with smiles.

"Michael fuckin' Jones! Boy, am I glad to see you!" Geoff exclaimed.

"What is it with everyone today?" I asked. "Everyone's happy as shit." 

"Shit can't be happy." Ryan replied. "But you can."

"I never said I wasn't." I retorted. 

"Dude, lighten up. Today's a good day, not that we really have a specific reason. It's kinda just a happy ass day." Ray said, patting me on the back and grinning. 

I cracked a smile in return. I guess they had a good point, there wasn't a reason not to be happy.

As we prepared for the day's Let's play, my thoughts retreated back to Gavin.

 He wouldn't leave my mind, he never did. Even before I realized my true feelings for him, he was constantly running through my thoughts.

We've been through so much in the past six months, and the fact that he'll be back in a week terrifies me but excites me just as much. Maybe we can talk it out; start over. 

I can't hate my own best friend for the rest of my life.

So yeah, I let my smile grow even wider, because I knew deep down that this wouldn't be the end of our friendship. I'll always love him, and yeah, I wanted so much more than a friendship, but a friendship is better than not having Gavin at all. 

Regardless of what we've been through, I'll always love Gavin.

No matter what.