Reckless and Relentless

Realization

Riley stomped off after telling me to have a nice life. What is she think I'm doing? She always threatens to leaves but never actually does so I blow her off. Danny throws me a beer and we drink until we pass out.

Knew I shouldn't have drank so much, I have to piss like a fucking race horse but the bus is eerily quiet. Sam, Danny, Cameron, and James are all in the front of the bus, "What's going on?" I ask as everyone's eyes are glued to me like I've killed someone.

"Riley's gone. She left a note. Here, read it." He spat pushing the paper against my chest.

To those who care,

I'm leaving and not coming back, I can't handle things here anymore. According to Ben, I'm a whore, a junkie, and easy to sexually take advantage of because I don't know when I'm actually cared for. I won't be going home but I will not tell anyone where I am or where I went until I return home. Please don't come looking for me, I need this time to be alone and sort my life out.

James, Thank you for being there and trying to help me when I needed it, I'm just a little too fucked up for your help.

Sam, Thank you for being my best friend on this bus and throughout life, I'm sorry for just leaving but I can't handle it anymore.

Cameron, Thank you for always finding a way to make me laugh or smile when I was down. You were always so kind to me.

Danny, You confused me, you would be there and be like a big brother to me, but then you'd turn into a complete asshole and stabbed me in the back with Ben.

And lastly, Ben, Thank you for being an asshole and making me want to end my life and this shit you think is funny. I thought you cared about me but you had to ruin everything by making fun of my weight, my eating disorder, my addiction, my emotions and most of all, my entire life. So until next time, goodbye, enjoy your life, fuck all the groupies that are SO much better than me, get high or drunk, and most importantly do not come to me and try to apologize for what you put me through.

With Love,

Riley.

The words on the page jumble in my brain and I stare at the paper just trying to comprehend everything. I glance up at James and I can sense the anger radiating off of him, when he hit me.

"This is your fault Ben, you had to fucking push her, I swear to god Ben. If she hurts herself because of you I swear I will make you wish that you never looked at my sister. " He threatened me.

Slowly I pull myself off the ground, looking at James. "What about Danny? Aren't you going to yell at him?" Danny stood up, "Mate I'm not the one that told her to kill herself." And he walked away. Leaving the room speechless.

It's no big deal, right? After all it is only Riley. She's a child yet, she barely functions enough to survive, let alone by herself for god knows how long.