I'm Sorry; S.M

Chapter 20

Chapter 20
Listen to Feel No Way (cover) by Chance The Rapper
    *Bel*

Matt and I laughed. This fan was telling us a joke. "Alright next question," Jack G said. He pointed to a girl with brown hair. She was beautiful to be honest. "Yes. You in the beautiful flower dress," Jack G said making her blush. They passed her a mic. "This one is for Shawn. How are you and Eliza doing," she said.

Shawn frowns, but quickly smiles. "Uh- we're doing really good actually. She's a really great friend," Shawn says. I know when Shawn is lying, and right now, he is.

The fans kept asking questions and we kindly answered them. When Magcon was done we decided to eat at Taco Bell. I said I would go somewhere different, and Cameron did also. We got into our rented car and I drove to a Mexican restaurant. We got out and walked in. I order Cameron and I some chicken enchiladas with drinks.
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I got our order and went back to the car. Cameron decided to make a snapchat video when I came out the restaurant. He showed me it.

"Look at that chicken," he said as I cover my face with my free hand.

I laughed and he posted it. We drove back to the hotel and went into my room. "So I bought you, your favorite thing in the world," he said. Cameron looked confused, "You bought me my mom and sister?" I laughed. "No. Sorry. But I bought you chicken enchiladas!"

He attacked me with kisses on the cheek. "Your my favorite person now," he said stuffing his face with the enchiladas. I did the same as I turned on the tv. I clicked on Netflix, then on Twilight.

"So how you been," Cam asked. "I'm doing great! What about you," I asked. "I'm doing good," he says, finishing his enchiladas.

"How are you and Matt doing," Cam asked after a silence. "We're doing good," I said, smiling like an idiot.

"So, have you talked to Shawn?"

"No. It's really awkward and I never thought about talking to him. But I mean, what's there to talk about?"

"Well you should tell him that you don't want any awkwardness and that you want to be friends or if you want to be friends," I nod.

"Well, I don't know what Matt-"

"Don't worry about Matt. I got him. Go on talk to Shawn."

"Okay."

I got my phone and texted Shawn.

Bella: Can we meet at the cafe down the road?

He answered rather quickly.

Shawn: Ummmm yeah. I'll be there in 10.

"Alright. Um I have to go. I'll be back later," I said, giving Cam a tight hug. "Okay you stay safe. Call if anything happens," he said as I walked outside. I went to the lobby and went outside into the coldness. Lucky I had Matt's hoodie. I walked into the cafe that was called Philip's Bakery & Cafe. (It's made up.!).

"Hello! Welcome to Philips Bakery and Cafe. How many I help you," the man said. "Um I'll like to wait. I'm meeting someone," I said as he smiled and nods. He walked off into other tables making sure everyone has what they ordered.

I took out my phone and scrolled through Instagram, liking some fan pages of me and following them also. I didn't realize until now that I still don't know how to talked to him.

Um how about..... Um.. Hey shawn. It's nice to see yo- no..... Ughhhh-

"Hey Bel," Shawn said. I looked up and smiled weakly. "Hi Shawn," I said. He handed me a Caramel Latte. He remembers. My favorite! "Thank you," I said, taking a sip. "So um how you been," I asked. Come on really?! "I've been good," he said looking out the window then back at me. "How about you," he asked sipping his latte. "I'm doing great," I said. Then dead silence came.

"Um so why exactly you asked me to come," Shawn said looking at his hands like its the most interesting thing in the world. "Well, um.... I wanted to talked to you about our friendship," I said. His head snapped up. "I'm done with the awkwardness," I said. "But Bel you don't understand," Shawn said with a bitter laugh.

"I still fucking love you Bel."

I shake my head. "I'm sorry Shawn. But Matt-I don't want to break his-"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. You know deep inside you have a feeling for me, but you just can't admit it."

"I do love you. I just love you as a friend, Shawn. Please. I don't want to be more than that. Just friends."

He looks out the window. He doesn't say anything.

I sniffed, blanking the tears back.

"Do you hate me?"

"Bel. I said I love you!"

I sighed.

"Shawn I-"

He leaned in and quickly smashed his lips on mine. Just kiss back! You know you love him! I didn't know what to do. I remembered about Matt. I pushed him away. "Bel I'm so-," I looked at him. "Shawn. I wanted to be friends. But your making this way harder than it should've been," I said. I got my phone and my latte. I went to the exit when he grabbed me by the arm. "Bel, I'm sorry. Please. Forgive me. I just couldn't resist kissing you. But yes we can be friends. No more than that," Shawn said. I looked into his eyes.

I sighed. "Okay," I said. He sighed relived. He hugged me tight. I just stood there

Why did I give in so easily?
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