My diary ( you may read it )

12/8/15

Dear fans,

My dream was beautiful, everything about my dream was just so beautiful. It felt so real that I woke up crying and it felt good. My zen is at its peak and I love it. Tomorrow is going to be hell for me and I don't like it I'm going to be tested for different things and I don't want to but I got to. So tomorrow if I don't write I'm sorry forgive me.
    I have been doing good so far today and I hope to keep it that way for a while it's been quiet and calm and I love that I feel so at peace with myself. I don't even care if things start going to shit I just love that I'm happy. Meditation has been helping me a lot and I am so doing it more often. Every time I meditate I just feel so at peace with myself and just love to just be happy and it's a good mood booster as well.
   I'm not ready for tomorrow and I don't want to go I have chorus tomorrow and I'm going to be pissed off if I miss it. I love to sing and I need to sing chorus is my one place where I can sing as much as I want and test my limits. Mom and dad don't always let me sing they get annoyed and they tell me to stop and I just get mad cause I want to sing and it's my life.
  Algebra is a bitch I don't like it no more and I got to try harder in the classes I have lost interest in. Ugh I hate hard work I try to catch up and it just doesn't work. I can't work on something and be expected to know something new. It's just really hard and I can understand some things on the page but the rest is a total blank on my brain.
   My mom has a weird way of tucking me in bed okay she comes in turns off my sleeping music which is oceans or delta waves that go into your brain and fixes things like sleep and stuff. And she comes to my bed and she .... Farts or makes fun of my sleeping mask and we are just sitting there laughing and the room smells Lolol. I love my mom always making me smile and laugh.
   My dad is a bit different he isn't as funny and he isn't as positive when I need him to be. Like he's trying to say something to me and he says it wrong and I start crying and he has to wait twenty minutes to apologize to me. It's fine just he needs improvement. Yesterday I went to a mustang rescue ranch and there was legit no one there and it was getting cold out and there was no grass no hay nothing and the horses were so dirty I was not pleased I was fucking pissed off I love animals with a damn passion and lust I was not happy to see those animals were like dirty and cold and probably starving. There was horse manure everywhere and the horses were stepping on their own filth.
       That's why I want to be a zoologist and take care of animals for a living have two jobs work at a zoo and help take care of horses. I am an animal lover always have always will. With animals I can just have fun cause they want to have fun they want to be loved and they want to care and protect. With the right training I can have a friend tiger or lion.  I'm going to be a crazy chick one way or the other.
    I hate that I'm like starving right now and I'm not in a mood to just stop writing. Pretty soon though I will be eating my healthy meal which is a fresh spinach salad with ham bits and bread crumbs of some sort and a cheeseburger on the side. It's so good plus I have gotten stronger since I started eating it for every lunch at school.
   Have you ever thought that the only way to be healthy was to cut junk food...... Well  don't cause junk food can be healthy too. Just eat more and more greens and you'll be fine really plus if you want to loose weight just eat a small breakfast in the morning a small lunch and a huge dinner then your done the smaller the meals the faster your metabolism will boost up faster. So yep Lolol. Wow I'm almost at a thousand words well shit that's a lot Lolol okay I guess that's it for now talk to you guys later.

Love Jazmine