My diary ( you may read it )

12/15/15

Dear fans,

I think there is 11 more days till Christmas and I can't wait to be honest. I am hoping with all my might that I get a leather journal that holds 400 pages I want it so badly. People are starting rumours again and really so long as I know they aren't true I'm good. Biddeford is one drama town I suggest staying far far far away from here unless you want to be talked about and have people think your a bad person. I'll admit it's not all that bad but it can be and we can't do nothing about it. They bring in new cops every months and we don't know where the older ones are. The bills here are high unless your lucky and they are people who use their houses for crack and all sorts of funny shit. I want to move to Saco it's way better the cops there mean business and the school is amazing as hell. I want to move there so badly. But it's getting harder to convince my parents. They know damn well that if I move to a new school I won't be able to make any friends. In high school it's hard to make friends. I don't want to be known as a loser or bullied and have no one to talk to. Ugh they just won't listen.

     They have no idea how stressful it is to keep moving all the damn time. For once I just want to stay in an area and call it home. Biddeford is my home I've dealt with this hell hole I made good friends. I can't leave it now. My workers that are helping me get better with my life said it will be unhealthy as well and I agree with them. I don't want to leave I don't want to change I don't want to make a new group of friends. I got enough friends right here.

I'm no longer allowed at my grandmothers cause I was watching porn with my uncles friends and I think it's fucking stupid porn is porn ok there is nothing wrong with people making love God you grown ups need a little more growing up to do and the fucking shit is boring anyway. My parents are cutting me off from every single fucking place that I love to go to and I am not happy about it! I stay in my room now cause where else am I going to go? They bitch and complain I'm isolated all the time well maybe it's because you fucking idiots are blocking me from going anywhere! Ugh they piss me off and they wonder why I am the way I am. Fucking pricks don't know shit.
    My parents are the problem not me! I want out but I can't get out cause they keep blocking me from places I want to go to. I'll bring this up with my psychologist hell know what to do he'll even agree it's not okay to do that. I hate being caged I hate people who won't let me do anything. I don't get out much. I can't! Cause idiots like my folks keep blocking me from the outside world! [sighs] they'll realize it's not good for me one of these days I'm sure.
     Anyway I was wondering do any of you even read this I mean I know most of you do but you mind telling me like comment of something I said or whatever? It'll give me great joy if you do. Also don't be afraid to ask questions I love it if you do ask questions of any kind. I'll be happy to answer any and all questions. Now I am not sure if I am glad about this but I have a concert in two days I can't wait it's going to rock! I got everything I need and I am going to look so pretty. Lol yeah I'm 52% girly and 48 % Tom boy lolol. Ugh. Do you ever wonder if our parents aren't doing their jobs anymore? Like they try to keep us safe when they are harming us as well. This 2015 dickwards we are more than capable to take care of ourselves than have you idiots trapping us from the world. 2016 is coming soon and I'll be damned if I let this go on any longer than it should my fucking step dad said I can get a job in the summer bitch fuck you by then I'll be smarter than you! And really I got my own life to get started I need a job to pay for my rent or my food or hell my own fucking clothes!
    Summer job my ass. I got shit I got to do myself I don't study cause it doesn't work for me. I have to keep myself safe it's me and myself against the fucking world and you want me to get a damn summer job? Three months of working isn't going to get me any money and I don't need you idiots taking my money to pay your bills that I have no part of. See parents aren't helping they pick you up then throw you down and do that over and over and over again. They mess with your minds and they get in deep take what they want and not care about our feelings.... Well aren't I right? They say they love us bitch then show it! Cause blocking us from places taking our shit and telling us we can't have a full time job is not called fucking love.  Man doesn't that just piss you off? It pisses me off.
    People are getting dumber and dumber each fucking day and there are only a few of us that are actually smart and know what's best. But nope no one cares cause they don't want to listen to wisdom from someone who's seen it all and done it all. Nope it's all true. The world needs to stop making these lame ass fucking phones and stop fucking cutting trees y'all are killing us you fucking faggots lol. I'm crazy and I can see this shit happening right before my damn eyes. We need to change his shit and fast.

Love jazmine