I knew what they were thinking. They were thinking that they would kill themselves if they ever looked like I did. I can see their revulsion and hate. I am not beautiful and I don't deserve to live. I will be worthy of living once I am thin. They are encouraging me to be courageous and rebel. Oppose life and by doing so end it. I want to do it but I am afraid. I just want to sleep for a long time but I want to have the ability of waking up whenever I choose to.
I ignore Mrs. Willow's response and drop my head onto my meaty hands. Wanting to disappear and hating the fact that I can't. It's not possible. School is my haven, right? Who am I kidding? I want to believe it. I really do.
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What happens if a girl gets lost on purpose? Not wandering the roads but traveling the darkest trails hidden in the vast forest. Slipping through the cracks that spelled misfortune. A ominous warning. Tediously covering up any and all traces of her passing. Forever lost to the world that she once roamed in.
What would happen if a girl let herself get misused and broken? Not in the wrong time or at the wrong place. But searching high and low for a person who would get the job done. Who would definitely finish what she started. Digging through layers of scum until she found the worst imaginable person.
What happens if she abhorred herself? Thought of herself as an anathema? What happens when she thinks she's worthless and undeserving of happiness? What happens if she gave in to the voices crowding her head? To the demons that learned how to swim if she tried to drown them. What happens to that girl?
I don't know. That's why I am asking you.
YOU ARE READING
Undone
PoetryA hodgepodge of topics that mostly deal with mental health written as poems or prose.
