Undone

Halloween

A boy asked me " What are you going to be for Halloween?"

A slow smile stretched across my face

And I told him," I'm still working on the costume.

But I'm going to be a skeleton."

The defining moment of my private hell.

Two years later someone asked me,

" Why are you doing this to yourself?"

A twisted leer took my face as hostage

And I told them," In preparation for Halloween.

As you can see, I'm trying to become a skeleton."

I want to die.

A fairy asked me " What's your secret?"

A face devoid of emotion - blankness

And I told her," If I told you it wouldn't be a secret.

Only I can be a skeleton."

Worthless.

A gaunt face asked me " Are you supposed to be a skeleton?"

A tear slips down her face

And we answered," I'm still working on it but I won't stop.

I want my bones to be exposed so I can try to find a morsel of beauty within them.

I'm a whale who wants to become a corpse in order to escape the omnipresent ugliness.

I'm trying so hard but I know it's useless to even pretend I'm close to finishing.

I'm no where close to being a skeleton."

Fat.

Ugly.

Weak.

Pathetic.

Stupid.

I ask myself " What do I want to do with my life?"

Unspoken words are tattooed across my face

The mirror answered," Each day I work on it, this dangerous obsession of being thin.

I want to love myself one day."

Just maybe....I'm worth it.