I Remember You

Starting Over - Chapter 12

I opened my eyes slowly. Im not dead. My sorrounding smelled like antiseptic and I know Im in a hospital. I still remember Yonghwa's face as he look at me. I groaned. I feel so stupid. I didnt die which means theyre worrying. I screw up again. Guilt consumes me. I should have sliced deeper then it will be all over now.

" how do you feel?" I turn to my right. He smiled at me. Is he gonna pretend nothing happend?

" baby you ok?" Im surprised at the voice and I turn to him. Dad is here! Hes standing beside my mom. I cant help but smile at them. He got his arm around her shoulders and shes leaning into him.

I look at Yonghwa and see his happy expression. Inspite of everything, I smiled at him and he gasp. I wanted to giggle at his reaction just then the doctor arrived.

He poked me and gaved my prescription to my mom. I cant help but feel happy for her. I hope she and dad is on better terms now.

I look at my hands and saw gauze covering the cut. It doesnt hurt so much. I have to talk to a shrink in a few minutes. I took half bath and brush my hair.

Even after seeing my parents I still felt dejected. Its like somethings missing. I wanted to just go back to sleep.

" hey are you worried about the doc?" Yonghwa asked me when I sat down on my bed. My mom and dad went out to talk to the doctor.

" no. Just thingking." I answered. He pulled out a chair and sat in front of me.

" I'll accompany you there and wait outside ok?" He looks at me with concern.

" why..why are you still here?" I asked him and he frowned.

" what do you mean?"

" I..dont be mad at me ok? I appreciate that you're here...really" I added when he look at me quizzically. " I just dont get it. Is it ok that Im not..the same? I know it must hurt sometime too."

He held my hand and look at it before he answered. His voice very soft as if he is contemplating whether hes going to tell me or not. " Lianee...I..." He took a deep breath. " yeah it hurts that you dont remember me at all. But baby, I cant be far from you. I cant take it. I rather be here even though you dont remember what we have before. Im selfish like that. I...we can make new memories." He said this as he look at me, his eyes wanting me to understand.

I took at deep breath and my guilt increases. He really loves me and my feelings for him isnt that grand. Its not as big.

" its ok baby." His thumb tilt my chin up so he can see my face. " you dont have to say it back. For you its still new. I can wait. I will do everything for you to love me again."

I look at him in wonder. He said he will wait for me. What can I say to that? Suddenly the air around us cracked as he look at me intently. Then very slowly his face went down till his breathing on my nose. My eyes flutter close as his lips softly touch mine. He didnt move right away. His mouth is just there on top of mine. I opened my lips to take in his as I run my tongue on his lower lips. He taste like mint. Then he moved and the kiss deepend. My hand went up his shoulders and I hold on to him.

"...... I love you baby... Please say yes..."

Theres a bunch of flowers everywhere I look with light blue ribbons and balloons.

I giggled as I answered.

" yes..."

I pushed him away as the scene unfold itself in my mind. Wha was that? When did it happened? My head started spinning.

YONGHWA POV

I just want to peck her lips to assure her but it got heated in a heartbeat. Suddenly she pushed me away. I was shocked when I see her face. Shes so pale and shaking. Then tears fell on her cheeks.

"Baby whats wrong?" I asked in a frightened voice. Whats happening?

" my head hurts.." She whimper. I made her lie down and called for a nurse. The nurse asked what happened and I briefly told her what we were doing minus the kiss. She groaned complaining about a terrible head ache. The nurse took her chart and went out to call her doctor.

I made her sip some water but she keeps on crying. Then the doctor arrived and injected her with painkillers. It work almost immediately. She tried to open her eyes but I guess she cant.

" yonghwa..." She called my nMe softly and I lean down to her.

" what is it?" I asked.

" I.. I saw you... Flowers and balloons... Blue ribbons.." She was whispering then she sighed and slept. Her hand still holding on to mine. I blinked.

She remembered!