In My Escape, I Fell

Airplane Thoughts: His

• THIS PART IS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH•
•YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THIS TO KNOW THE ENDING•
•BUT IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU READ THIS THOUGH•
•THIS IS GLEVON POINT OF VIEW•
•THIS IS LIKE THE BONUS CHAPTER•

She likes to drink her tea with one tablespoon of sugar, not more. She said it because of her diet—though I don't understand; another spoon won't hurt that much. She likes to tie her long hair in a bun and sometimes some of her hair will fall out and it was damn beautiful, but never when her hair is wet. She likes to breath in poetry and sometimes under the night sky she reached out her hand and claim the sky hers. She likes to smile and I'll know when she faked her smile because then dimples would appear on her face—I thought dimples were supposed to be cute but not anymore. The last hour without her I realize the rented car is now full of her scent. Can't point which scent she's wearing but it's good, it's felt like Christmas. She always sleeps with one hand under the pillow and I googled it once and it says those type of people may appear thought but actually sensitive inside and I know that it's true.

When I told her that I was a Scorpio she smiles and then she said Scorpios people is like feelings where being struck at the top of the ferris wheel, wind in your hair at 100mph and foxes in the bushes and then I smile and tell her I don't know what it means but then she laugh. She said she read those astrology somewhere and that she always read Scorpio because it's above her own star, Sagittarius, and how she finds it interesting but I bet it's only because her previous lover is a Scorpio.

Speaking of stars I read it before that stars has it ways to write of destiny. But then if so, it mean it's our destiny for me and Leta to part. But what would the stars' gain if we go to separate ways? What did the stars want that they decide we can't be together?

I think it's because of the height this plane is taking me, why I started talking the way she talks. Or maybe it's because the distance?

Maybe I start thinking about Leta because I want to remembers her. I want to remembers her little habits and fact so I could convince myself that we are real, that she is real, that she really did kiss the loneliness away from my teeth.

I approach her because she resemble my ex, but if I think about it now, Leta doesn't resemble Avery at all.

Avery was gentle and soft and elegant; she was innocent smiles, eyes that felt like gentle waves and holding hands. Leta was dangerous; she was rough kisses and death glare and tears and mouth on skin. Sometimes Leta talks about the sea, sometimes about rocks against rocks and most of the times about stars. Great. I even talked in metaphor now.

And she was temperamental I guess, a little bit bipolar. She almost always look at me like I'm some kind of achievement but sometimes when I'm lucky she'll look at me the way she look at the sea. Her kisses are, too. Most of the time she kissed me like she's learning way too hard on how to french kiss but sometimes she kissed me like she loved me I almost don't caught on.

Goodness, I want to learn her. I remember she said she wanted to dye her hair, she didn't tell me which color but I guess it's grey. I don't know why I just felt like it. Oh I bet she wanted a guy to write a song about her, too. Too bad I can't write. But there's a lot of things I don't know about her, too.

Like that time when we drove to the sunset. It was beautiful and girls love it but then she surprised me by asking, "Why would you want to drive to sunset? Don't you know Icarus?" But I guess that's it. I don't understand back then, but as in Icarus, she's the sun and I'm Icarus. I know it's not going to be good, letting myself go to her, but I still do it anyway.

I also didn't she it coming. One day after that drunk accident, she stole one of my white T-shirt and wrote angry words at it. I wear it the next day, loved the way she look when she saw me wearing it. I don't remembers what she wrote on them, should've. Now the T-shirt is gone but she probably keep it, she probably stole it from me.

She surprises me all the time. She always thought that I couldn't appreciate nature but one day we were berries-picking and thorns got stuck on my skin and as she took them off one by one she complained, "You look like you purposely touch the thorns and now it's not beautiful. Things with thorns is not beautiful." and I replied, "It's okay. It doesn't have to be beautiful to feel real. Thorns give you pain and pain is feeling and I like that." and ever since she thinks I'm a nature master—if that words even exist. How could she changed her mind so fast anyway.

Oh, I remembered. On our first ride she was looking all over the scenery as if she was counting the trees. But lately she was looking at me, I find it hard to focus. I don't know what she was counting. Maybe the buttons on my shirt or how many times I look at her. Maybe the time we have left. Since she was the one who got to decide our fate, not me.

And I missed her already.

I bet she's home right now.

And I bet she missed me too.

Call me foolish because I let her go. But it hurts me, at the airport when she said, "I'm happy we end like this. This way we doesn't make boring story out of us."

I guess I should've left her sooner. Maybe it's that one time when we were walking down the alley and there's a tattoo shop and I offer it to her but she said no. I didn't ask her why and we settled on the temporary tattoos ones. I think I missed it but I hear she whispered "feelings" as she faked her smiles and I guess that's it. I guess she doesn't want our feeling to last. I saw it coming yet I continue it anyway.

Leta, I could've make us real good of you'd stay. Could have.

But here we are now, different airplanes, unsaid words.

And she weren't anything anyway. I don't have to remember her. It's not like she was stealing from me. Maybe it was just that t-shirt,
and my heart.