Love is Our Resistance

9/9/05

(A/N hey guys! I'm so so sorry for the slow updates recently, I just got done with a huge play a school and with the holidays coming it's just been insanity. But thank you all for being patient, and stay tuned! We'are over halfway to 1k! Love you guys -Oliver)

Dear Dan,

Are you okay?
I'm not asking to be bothersome... I'm just a bit concerned. You're acting strange. Ever since you went back to get your jacket from the woods. I'm not stupid, you know. I know that you didn't just "see a moth." When you came through the door, you were practically about to faint. I don't want to bother you about it, but I would think you'd trust me enough to tell me whatever it is you're scared of. Though I'm starting to think I don't know you as well as I thought.

A day or two went by, and the weekend finally arrived. A chill held in the air, and the wind continued to blow. I spent it alone... With my thoughts.

Ever since that day I could feel you pulling away from me. You're not yourself... And you're too distant to tell me why...

The thought never even crossed my mind before now... But I have to consider it. I have to say something. So wherever you are... Just listen, would you?

Are you scared of me, Dan? I mean... not scared like you'd think I'd try to hurt you or anything, but scared because you think we're getting too close? I know that you're a nervous person, and I know why. I would be too after all you've been through.

But I was convinced for the longest time that you actually truly trusted me. I'm not saying I think you never did... Not really, anyway. But something changed, Dan. And whatever it is, I promise you that it doesn't change how I feel about you. I'm not out to do anything but make your life a little bit brighter. But you have to let me.

"Phillip! Breakfast!"
I heard my mum shout from the kitchen.

I sighed, wiping sleep from my eyes and stumbled to my feet. The room blurred for a split second as my eyes adjusted. Gee, I'm so healthy.

I made my way down the hallway and into the kitchen. My bare feet scuffed across the scrungy, rough carpet. We couldn't exactly afford to get it cleaned, so it had been that way for at least a few years. Anyone who wasn't used to it would probably be pretty grossed out.

"Morning."
I said, pulling out a chair and plopping myself into it.

"I've gotta get going. There's toast in the toaster, and orange juice in the fridge. You can go over to your friend's house if you want, but make sure you tell Martyn so he knows where you are."
My mum said quickly, frantically grabbing her bags and cup of coffee from the counter.

"Okay. Bye Mum."

"Bye kiddo."
She replied with a tired smile.

Her light hair was shoved messily into a bun at the back of her head that swished back and forth with her every movement. I watched it intently as she gathered the rest of her things and rushed out the door.

Minutes later, Martyn stumbled into the kitchen.

"Hey. Where's Mum?"
He said sleepily, brushing messy strands of light brown hair from his eyes.

"Work."

"But it's Saturday."
He replied with confusion.

"Don't question it unless you wanna have stale bread for dinner again tonight."
I said dryly.

He chuckled and sat himself down in the chair next to mine.

"You alright, kid? You seem bummed."

"Eh... It's just... friend stuff."
I muttered.

"I'll bet you'll feel better if you talk about it."
He said softly.

I twiddled my thumbs in my lap for a second before looking back up at him.

"It's probably nothing. Maybe he's just going through something."

Propping his elbows up on the table, Martyn narrowed his eyes at me.

"Is this about Dan?"

My face flushed at the mention of your name. Lord knows why.

"Erm... Yeah..."

I could see just a faint hint of a smirk reflect on his face, but he caught himself and resumed his worried expression.

"Is he being mean to you?"

"No, nothing like that. He's just being weird."

I took a sip from my glass of orange juice and sighed.

"People are weird. Don't worry about it, he'll get over whatever is going on. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you."
He said, giving me a reassuring half smile.

I shrugged and attempted to grin back.

"Yeah. I hope so."

-Phil