friends || l.r.h

1.6

Luke

I shut her front door feeling weak to my knees. I shouldn't leave. I need to stay until she's not upset anymore. The old luke would never leave Cleo without her smiling, let alone crying. Crying. She hasn't cried in front of me like meaning it in forever.

Why was she so upset? I only didn't bring it up just because I didn't know how to tell her. I'd much rather have her go instead of Ashley but my grandparents want to meet her and she was with me when I was on the phone. After she went home that night my mom told me to choose between Ashley going it Cleo going. I just didn't know how I could un invite Ashley so I just tried to keep it from Cleo. Stupid idea.

All I was doing was trying to prevent from her feelings getting hurt. Seems like that's literally all I can manage to do anymore with her.

I stood on her porch for a brief moment trying to regain myself but I was finding it quite hard to do so. I decided just to hurry home although it was raining. My house isn't too far.

As I began walking down her block, Jack, my brother, pulled up beside of me and I hurried into his car before I got anymore wet. He seemed sort of annoyed with me as we drove in silence.

"What happened between you and Cleo?" He asked and I just schooled my head.
"Then why did she call me to come get you?"

I sighed running my hands through my hair angry. Not him, or Cleo, just myself.
"God, i'm just so tired of all this bullshit," I said. "Basically over me and Ashley again."

"Well clearly it's not your best friend's fault, the one you left upset back there. She's the one who called me asking me to pick you up so you didn't have to walk home in the rain so you wouldn't get sick," he said making me feel completely shitty. Cleo said that? Even being hurt by me she still manages to care for me. Jack sighed shaking his head at me as we came to a red light and the sound of the rain was getting louder. Fire in The Water was playing softly in the background. "God Luke, I know how it is to get a girlfriend. I do, trust me. But having just some piece of ass to fuck whenever won't ever build up to a bond. So try not to keep fucking up your only good friendship," he said.

"I did it before. One too many times and now we don't even speak. I don't even have her number. That's what happens with friendships like yours and Cleo's. I just don't want you to do the same like mine," he said as we pulled up to the house.

Going up to my room, I laid down after pondering the thought to finish packing. We leave tomorrow evening and I was basically done. I just need a few things before I could zip up my bag.

I wondered what Cleo was doing right now. I hope she was alright, I really don't like her sad. Not like her not talking to me. I hate it with a passion. We were just so close it's hard for me. Because every time I hear or see something funny I want to go and tell her. Or if i'm sad I want to talk to her. Even when i'm happy or sick, so it sucks being attacked like we are to only one person. Because when things like this happen, I feel like i'm bottling up all what i'm feeling because I don't have anyone to tell it too.

Maybe I should check up on her? No. Not a good idea. I'll just wait till she talks to me first. Not because i'm being stubborn, I just want to give her time to breathe. Maybe then it'll be easier to talk. And I won't feel so guilty.

I just feel so attached to her. Cleo. Not Ashley. Actually, I don't really feel a connection with Ashley much. But I do enjoy her presence. She funny and pretty. Not really my type, but she's something. But Cleo is completely different than her. Cleo is funny. Not the funny where you have to insult someone or something about them to be funny, but the dorky kind of funny. The kind that laughs at her own jokes. I love her laugh. It's cute and weird and it matches her. I could listen to it whenever. Ashley's isn't the polar opposite. It's just weird and pitchy, but that's just the way she laughs. And I love the way Cleo dresses. It's cute. And she's very creative. I don't ever get bored with her. Sometimes with Ashley it's hard. We don't always have stuff to talk about. And she never gets off her phone.

Cleo is the type of person if she's hanging out with you, she puts her phone on silent and doesn't touch it again. I love that. She diverts all of her attention to you and she enjoys it. And the smallest things catches her eye. We could be walking downtown or in the park and if she sees a rock that she thinks is really pretty she'll pick it up. Or if she sees a small little flower she'll point at it and say how pretty it is, but she'll never pick it. I never bother to ask her why not.

Stop. I don't know why i'm sitting here thinking of Cleo and comparing her to my girlfriend. Why am I doing that?

I just need to get away.