It Starts From You

"Why lie?"

Why do you lie? How often do you lie? Who do you lie to? Why not tell the truth?

Everybody lies. It's not a secret. It's not new information. Even in holy scriptures you can find people in the past times who have lied numerous times. It's common for some to do so daily. It's common for some people, to let their lies swallow them and make it their lifestyle - to live a lie.

I did some research online and found the most common reasons for lying:
1. FEAR – It was Tad Williams who said, "We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger."People can be so afraid of what might happen if they told the truth. Maybe they have done something wrong and are afraid of the consequences of their actions, so they lie to cover up what they did. As often said about political scandals: It's not the crime that gets you in trouble, nearly as much as the cover-up.
2.MANIPULATION – Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to either do something or not do something, or to make a decision in the favor of the person doing the lying. Someone might lie to get something they desire such as sex, money, status, power, love, etc. Lori said: "I'm young, but I realized quickly lustful people know how to get what they want, even if it means lying to you about how they feel." Probably the word love is used in more lies than any other. How often a guy will say to a girl (or vice versa), I love you, simply to get the other person emotionally stirred-up, so they can be more easily manipulated.
3.PRIDE – Many times, a person will lie because of pride. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favorable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is a form of lying. Often people will create fascinating, yet completely false, stories to improve their image.

So, I made a little experiment that included some of my classmates and other people with whom I socialize with - in total they were 16 people. I asked all of them if they had ever lied to me and why they lied. A majority of 12/16 answered me sincerely (at least I believe so) and told me all the reasons, 3/16 told me that they had never lied to me or that if they have they don't remember why, 1/16 was reacted weird with me acting defensive and really seemed like he/she didn't want to answer (strange and suspicious, definitely has something to hide...).

From the answers of those that were able to remember why they lied to me, I was able to deduce that there wasn't really a legit reason for them to lie to me. I personally don't like to lie, unless it's for a good reason like for example, a surprise party. What I usually do is refrain certain parts of the truth which also isn't good but at least I'm not lying.

In life there really isn't a good reason to lie. I at least like to deal with mature people who usually take things well or that at least try to understand my side as well before judging my actions, but of course in life not everyone is like that and so I also have the hotheaded, grudge-holding kind of people in my life ("there needs to be a balance in life..."). I honestly think that there's no reason to lie, especially if you're lying because "you don't want to hurt feelings", the truth may hurt but the lie hurts even more. I feel more hurt when I find out that I was lied to than I do about the truth. If the person is mature enough, he/she will forgive you, but beware: being forgiven doesn't mean that things may go back to they were before, telling the truth can either ruin things or make things better. But most probably, it will make things better because by telling the truth, you're showing that there's honesty in your relationship, that the person can trust you. All lying does is ruin relationships, the truth does as well at times but I'd rather the latter. Every lie in life, whether it big or small, in the end is uncovered.

I've found out so many lies that have been told from me, and I've forgiven them all because fortunately/unfortunately I am a passive person that doesn't hold grudges. Most of the times I find them out accidentally and just wait in silence till "the person(s)" comes to me to admit that they have lied but there some people who really like to live a lie because they think it's better that way so they don't admit it. But it's okay, the important thing is that I am true to myself and I do my part, all I have to do is wait till they complete their part or not, it's not always in my place to confront them.

If you look back and think about all the lies that you've told, you'll see that there was no reason to lie, you'll see that there were many other ways of solving the problem other than lying.

I challenge you: stop lying for at least a month! (It's okay if you don't take the challenge, the truth isn't for everyone 😁, I just pray that life goes on well for you...)

I'd also like to leave you with a warning: be careful, lies can lead to other lies, lies can be addictive.

- Josephine Nerissa