'I'm going in.'
It was out before I knew it. The thought had crossed my mind once, but instead of thinking about it a second time, I blurted it out and took action. We all needed to know if they were gone for sure.
It was as if my feet had a mind of their own. I blindly walked into the fallen debris and made my way into the flames, without being held back by anyone. The fire had calmed a bit.
Tiny pieces of burning ashes flew around me with every step I took. The pain I had to feel in my feet from the heat wasn't there, I was numb to it. Did I even have anything to lose anymore?
The more I got to the center of the, what once was, building, the flames got a bit higher. I was still able to walk through them without getting burned severely. I wasn't going to suffer the same fate.
I stopped in my tracks, staring at what was left of them.
It felt like a nightmare came true, but I couldn't wake up from it and realise it was all fake. No, that was not the case this time. I wish it was. The sight was just too real, too close, too morbid... It was unreal, but still reality.
2 bodies, turned into coal. They were unrecognisable, but in the back of my head I knew these bodies had to be Erd and Gunther, the two men whom I was with just minutes ago. They surrounded an open spot in the ashes, where a head peeped out of. I could clearly see bone and molten hair, together with burned skin and exposed muscle.
Too real.
I covered my mouth as I held my stomach. This sight was sickening, realising that these bodies were once living creatures, roaming the earth, talking and making friends, just like me. They had minds of their own and so their own personalities. And I knew all of them.
Too close.
The flames were barely flames anymore at this very moment. Still, it felt as if they were consuming me. Not only did it ache from the outside, but also did it ache in my heart. I knew these people. I talked with them and they talked with me. But then, merciless fire had taken their lives and turned them into lifeless and unrecognisable bodies of coal. It was as if I could hear their screams in my head, even though I've never even heard them.
Too morbid.
Falling to my knees, I still clasped my stomach. I was queasy. This horrific view, full with things you wouldn't even wish upon your worst enemy, it sickened me to the bone. My whole body shivered from the illness. I could feel it making it's way up, but I wouldn't let it. I wouldn't give in.
'Eren!' Hanji's voice called, 'are you okay, Eren?'
I closed my eyes, concentrating on not letting this affect me all too much, but I couldn't help it. Again, I teared up. My back arched, as I tried so hard.
'Are you okay?'
No.
I sure as hell am not okay.
Are you even seeing this?
Do you even realise what just had happened?
What this is doing to me?
'Little titan...'
Her voice sounded so sympathetic and kind, it ringed lovely in my ear. My mind wished for her to talk again, but she didn't. She put an arm around me instead, and hugged me tight. The moment I looked up at her, I noticed she was crying, too. Her mouth mouthed the words 'no future' over and over again and I knew exactly what she meant with them.
Now that our hideout/base was burned to the ground, we had nowhere to go anymore. All of us didn't have any connections with anyone else than the teammates, who all didn't have a house anymore due to practically living in the cafeteria's basement. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. It meant we had no future. Nothing at all.
Losing 4 teammates at once was also a big impact. It meant we were weaker and falling apart, an easy target. Sooner or later the Corps wouldn't be feared any longer, but looked down upon instead. Laughed at. Scoffed with. Simply saying you were a part of the Corps would be a laughing matter, a great joke for all. It surely wasn't what Levi aimed for.
Levi.
My heart raced at the thought of him. I felt anger, but also... Love. He made me happy, but sad, too. At the same time. Is this what it felt like? Levi, once a great leader and loyal friend, now a unreliable foe and feared stranger. That's what he felt like, a stranger. The Levi I saw just this same day, wasn't the Levi I've always known before.
'Eren? What are you doing?' A voice dragged me back to reality and cut away my thoughts. I noticed I was shaking all over and doing spasmic movements whilst muttering small words. I didn't have any control over it. In the corner of my eye, Hanji sat, kneeling near me, with fear and worry in her eyes.
Unfortunately, I couldn't answer her question. Not even I knew what I was doing. Even if I would've known the answer, I wouldn't get to respond. My body shut down completely. Everything went black. The worst thing was that I didn't feel myself land on something, instead of that, I felt like I was falling continuously.
...
...
...
...What?
'Looks like the brat has awoken.'
That wasn't Hanji. Nor was it Jean, or Connie, or Sasha. No, it had to be...
It couldn't be...
It had to...
Levi.
Again?
