Finding Hope [A Carl Grimes FanFic]

C7 ~ Not So Average Life

It's been a little over 2 weeks since Carl and I had our falling out. He hasn't talked to me at all, he kind of hates me now. Shouldn't I be the mad one? He is the one who dropped the "Love" bomb a month after our first kiss. You know this is still a better relationship than my first one. Some times I thank the universe for all this shit happening, or else I'd still be stuck with that asshole R- 

"HOPE! I NEED YOU!" I hear Beth call from upstairs, snapping me out of my thoughts. I quickly run up to Beth and she hands me Judith. I could see a milky liquid on her shoulder, and I immediately knew what happened. 

"Sorry, she must not be feeling good, she's been doing this a lot." Beth says while wiping off the disgusting baby throw up. 

"You're probably feeding her too much. This happened with my sister when they were babies. I always used to feed them too much and they'd throw up on my parents al the time. It was funny back then, but now it's just gross." I explained, handing Judith back to Beth. 

"So has Carl talked to you yet?" she asks trying to go back to that topic. 

"No, but I don't care right now. I'm trying to recover from that... On the other note , look at my hair!" I say showing Beth the fishtail I did this morning. She tried to clap, but with a baby in your hands it's not so easy. "That's really good! You're getting better for sure." She applauses. 

"Thanks!" I say giving her a smile, even though it was hard to do these days. 

"Hey you can go back to doing what ever you were doing, I'll call you if she acts up again." Beth says giving me a reassuring smile and she starts to walk away singing a lullaby to Judith.

I walk back down the stairs to see Carl walk into the prison, My face heats up with anger, nervousness and , he walks right pass me and into his cell. I let out a small sigh, as my heart drops. Why does he just ignore me like I'm nothing.  I walk into my cell which was right across from Carls. 

I grab my doodle book, I pretend to doodle when really I'm spying on him. He was reading something, I assumed it to be a comic book. I lay on my bed stomach down and watch him. I know this seems creepy, but he is really appealing to look at. I re think everything thats happened between us. Our first kiss, our last kiss. Him saying I love you, Me not being able to.  Him ignoring me, Me literally spying on him. I let out a quiet sigh. I miss him,

and quite honestly I didn't realize it until he was gone but, I love him. If only I could muster up the courage to tell him. Even if I did tell him he'd probably reject me. He'll always figure out a way to break my heart. 

I close my eyes thinking about before all this stupid shit happened.  Some times I wish I could go back, but sometimes in a way, here is way better. Even though here my heart is broken. Before here it was broken, Carl fixed it, only to break it again... It'll probably never be fixable again. With that thought I slowly drift to sleep.

(A/N: You guys are about to hate me.... Hehe Love you) 

Carl's POV

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As I passed Hope and saw the hurt in her eyes, it made me hurt too. 

I sit down on my bed and grab her old doodle book I stole from her before it all went down hill. 

I carefully studied the drawings, I flipped the pages browsing every drawing until I come to the last drawing, It was of me and her. We had drawn this together. She drew a great drawing of me and I drew a stickman of her.  She said she loved it and she'd keep it forever. I put the doodle book down and look over to Hopes cell, she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful. 

I slowly stood up and walked over to the doorframe of her cell and studied her carefully.  

She looked like she hadn't gotten sleep in weeks. Her light blonde hair was pulled back into a messy braid. She was wearing the same clothes she always did, A cute grey short sleeve and jean capris. She had black toms on her feet and a grey beanie fixated on her head. 

she was laying on the new doodle book Glenn and Maggie brought back for her on one of their runs. I gently pulled it out from under her and opened it. It was already quarter filled of drawings. They weren't as happy as the ones in her other book, they were more depressing and expressive. 

There was one of two hands ripping a heart apart.

There was another one, it was of a person, a boy to be exact. It was very detailed. It couldn't be just anyone. It must be some one she knew before this. I remember her telling me she had a boyfriend before all this. Could this be him? I felt my fist clench. 

I flipped the page and there was a single tear falling from a girls cheek. The only thing abut the drawing of the girls in this book is they had no faces. Their eyes were scratched out so you couldn't tell who it was. But I knew exactly that these were all about her. If this is how she's feeling I feel bad. 

But I want her to feel the same way I felt, I her to suffer the way I did. I looked down at her porcelain skin. She looked so fragile, almost as if I touched her , she would break. A single tear fell down her cheek. Without thinking,  I quickly wipe it away. Her eyes start to open. I quickly and quietly sneak back to my cell. before she sees me. As I go back Beth was standing at the top of the stairs, she must have seen me at Hopes cell. I quietly say, "Please don't tell her," she only nods, and gives me a look saying, "we need to talk later" I then nod and go back to my cell. Just as Hope sits up, she touches her cheek right where I wiped the tear away. I quickly grab my comic book and start reading it.  I feel her gaze on me and I try not to look at her, because if our eyes meet, I'll lose control and do something stupid. 

I let out a small sigh. 

I wish I didn't but, 

I still love her.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A/N

Hey! So that was that! only one more chappie until the big "attack" 

SO who do you think Hopes old BF was ? Btw he is in the series. It's not that hard to figure out. leave a comment on who you think it is. 

Did you like that chapter? Sorry if it feels rushed! :( 

Also I'm skipping the whole sickness thing that happens in the prison.... I just wanna get on with the story... But if you guys want you can create your own mini chapter about the sickness and send it to me on DM. And whoever has the best chapter I will post in the story! 

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter if you did

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