My hands were clammy. Not to mention sweaty. My heart was beating so loudly, I thought he could hear it.
I guess I was the only one that could. So why was I this nervous?
I really had to pee. Should I tell him?
I'll be quiet for now.
He was quiet as he led me up the stairs to his bedroom. When he opened the door, I was shocked. I imagined his room to be messy, but was I wrong. It was neat. Clean even.
Cleaner than mine.
Which was a shocker since I was neat.
He shut the door behind me and jumped on his bed. I tried not to stare at his abs.
It was quiet. Not the comfortable silence, but the awkward kind.
So my dumbass mouth has to say something.
"Can you put on a shirt? It's bothering me."
He stared at me. Then, that familiar smirk that I hated and loved, appeared. "Why?" He said. "Can't deal with my sexiness?"
I rolled my eyes. "Jordan, nothing is sexy about you."
He snorted. "You're saying that because you're jealous you aren't sexy at all."
"Jordan!" I yelled, a smile breaking out on my face. I missed this. "I know I'm not sexy...."
His smile disappeared. I groaned inwardly. What did I do now?
I'm so fucking stupid.
Is it too late now to say sorry?
He stared at me. I stared at him. It was like a staring contest. All of a sudden, before any of us knew it, somehow my body came up to him and his body came to mine, and our lips met.
My fingers tangled in his hair as he clutched my cheeks softly, but hard enough to make me know that he wanted this as much as I did. I nipped at his bottom lip and he groaned, pulling my face closer to his. My hands trailed down his back all the way down to the waistband of his sweatpants. Our tongues met and I groaned. Loudly. He broke the kiss, chuckled at me, and our lips met again. This time he started walking frontwards as I walked backwards, and my back met his bedroom wall. His hands dropped to my arms as we kept on kissing. I felt fireworks, butterflies, zipping and zapping. I knew my little crush on Tyler was nothing like this kiss. I don't think anything could beat this.
I wanted him. Oh sweet Jesus, how I wanted him. I've never felt this before.
We broke apart panting heavily. When I finally caught my breath, I opened my mouth to speak, but gasped in surprise as he hugged me, his chin resting on my shoulder.
"Can we not talk," he whispered, "right now? I don't want to ruin this moment."
I nodded. Somehow, I didn't want this moment to end either.
-
"Can you ask your parents if you can stay with me?" He asked moments later. We were lying on his bed. He put a shirt on, and his arms were wrapped around me, drawing tender circles on the sliver of bare skin between my shirt and jeans on my back. I shivered and nodded. "If they say no, I'll stay anyways."
I could hear his smile. "God, I missed you."
I snorted. "It's not like I went anywhere."
He poked my hip. "Not what I meant, Sofia, but okay."
Sofia.
He hasn't said my name is a while.
Or was it just me?
I texted Mom, and she immediately replied, saying how she understood and stuff. That was why I loved Mom better than Dad.
We stayed silent for a few minutes. It was a comfortable silence.
I broke it though.
"I'm sorry. For everything, Jordan. I've been such a bitch, I mean, literally. You gotta believe me when I say I kissed Tyler to test my feelings--"
He pecked my lips, making my eyes widen and a startled gasp escape my mouth. He turned away and made his back face me.
"I get it. I believe you. Remember how I was bad and stuff? How I would get into fights? That taught me something."
He stayed silent for a minute.
"What did it teach you?" I said quietly.
He took a deep breath and said, "The voice of truth."
I furrowed my eyebrows. As if seeing my reaction, he laughed to himself. "I know. It seems lame and shit, right? But right now when you called me, when you apologized to me just now, I could tell you weren't lying."
He went quiet. "But I was being a bastard these few days. I've been going to bars. I've....never felt like this before. Yeah, I've had a few girlfriends, but I wasn't as serious as I was with you. When I saw you kiss Tyler, it hurt. It fucking hurt, man. I had to go to a bar, I had to get laid. But I controlled myself. Usually, when it happens, I would get laid so many times, I would forget who she was. It happened again while our fight but I was surprised when I only fucked two girls instead of like the seven I do per day. So I'm a bastard. I guess I have my reasons for it, and I'm--"
"Why are you apologizing?" My voice was all cracked. I didn't realize I was crying until the tears hit my lip. "You aren't at fault. I get what you are doing, okay? You're not a bastard, I'm at a much bigger fault because--"
Soon, I felt his hands cup my cheeks. His kissed my nose and whispered, "Let's quit all this shit and forgive each other. I blame myself, not you, and you blame yourself, not me, so I guess we should just forgive and forget. I don't want to see you suffer over something I did."
I shook my head. "I don't want to see you suffer. I'm fucking sorry."
He chuckled. "No. I'm fucking sorry." He mimicked me. I gave him a small smile. "Only you, Jordan, would find something to make me laugh."
He released me and turned to his side. "I have to tell you something."
Now that I was perfectly happy, relieved that our fight was over, I said lightly, "What?"
He was silent. Then he said, "I think it's about time you know why I'm like this."
*
WOAH! SORRY FOR THE LATE ASS UPDATE, DAMN! 13 DAYS? WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!!
K. I'LL STOP.
BLACK BUTLER IS THE BEST ANIME I HAVE EVER SEEN. THE SECOND SEASON AND BOOK OF CIRCUS ARE GREAT TOO.
I'M WATCHING FAIRYTALE NOW.
SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. I LEFT MY LAPTOP AT MY GRANDPA'S HOUSE, AND HE LIVES LIKE TWO CITIES AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. I WROTE MY LAST CHAP THERE.
HAHAHAHAHA I'M A PATHETIC FUCK.
ANYWAAAAAYS, I'M GONNA UPDATE AGAIN BC I MISSED A LOT. SO TWO UPDATES IN A DAY. WOOOOAH.
YEAH, I'M DONE.
CHOW.
ER, CIAO!
