Shattered - H.S. |on hold|

Four. [HARRY POV]

Moments of last night flashed past my eyes when I saw her in my bed. It had been a scary sight. I didn't like the girl, it was a stupid reason, but I couldn't like her. The moment I saw her it was like my past ripped my heart out and smashed it to the ground. I moved here, to move on from my past and than I have her as my neighbour. My first thought was to be rude, keep up the bad reputation, yet everywhere I go, she's there. Always with a new mask. She likes to keep the innocence on, but that wasn't the one I saw yesterday. It was like I saw an other person than I had the days before. She was taking drags of joints, taking shots and the stuttering had dissapeared. I was amazed what the club did to her.

It was right when I went inside for a drink, I noticed her passing out. I looked for her brother, which I had only spoken once an hour

ago, but he was nowhere to be seen. And otherwise I knew none of her friends. I knew she lived with another girl next to me, yet I never knew how the other girl looked and looking for people didn't help either, since I didn't even know her name.

I had taken the girl home, since there was nothing left to do. I despiced it, but I swear I couldn't leave her there. I had noticed drunk guys checking her out, licking their lips as she was unconcious laying on the floor, right before the exit of the club. So that's what I did, I tried to look through her purse, without looking rude, yet I couldn't find any key or phone. I found out it was basicly just a mixture between a wallet and a beauty bag.

For a second I decided to leave her at her front door, but that's when she was starting to wake up. I don't think she realized where she was, since the only words she could speak were “I'm gunna be sick.” Not quite much later I stood aside her, holding her hair back when she puked out everything that was once inside of her. I wondered how we ended up here, with the girl I despised for my past. The girl I didn't want to be around and I'm damn sure she doesn't want to be around here. But deep inside I knew she rather stayed here in my bed, than on a floor between the smokedust and the alcohol, surrounded by filthy minded drunk horny teenage guys.

Now I saw her tangled between my sheets, in my clothes, I couldn't feel more uncomfortable. Lux was straddling on my arm, dying to go to the girl in my bed. How hard I tried to stay away from this girl, Lux loved to be around her. When I got her back from childcare she was the happiest I have seen her in years They had been nice to her, as nice as I should be.

“Where am I?” Her tired voice was laced with confusion. I was mesmerized by how fragile she sounded. Her narrowing eyes scanned the room, only to land on her own body, dressed in nothing but her underwear and a t-shirt. I had hoped she would remember that she was the one that took off her own clothes, and asked for a shirt but I could tell by her eyes widening and than finding me, she didn't remember anything at all.

“Wh-What?” The stuttering was back, I noticed her eyes filling with fear and it startled me. What was I thinking. I took a passed out girl to my place, a girl I had been rude to the past days. This probably couldn't get any better.

“Look you passed out yesterday and there was nobody around you except some horny guys so I took you home. If it makes you feel better, nothing happened. You puked out your guts and before I knew it you were dressed in my shirt sleeping in my bed. I slept at the sofa.” I snapped and turned my back on her.

I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but be rude. I wanted to help her if she needed it, but I couldn't have her around. I couldn't get close to her, it was like reliving my past all over again and I had to move forwards, not replay my life all over again. That was the last thing I wanted.

Somehow when I turned away, Lux her eyes widened and het lower lip hovered over her upper one. I never realised how she could pout like that. Her eyes were filling with tears and before I knew it Lux was waking the entire block by crying. Never had I experienced her crying like that. Lux was the giggling, quiet baby, sure she did cry but I had my parents around. Or friends of my parents. But it was never me on my own.

I cursed between attemps to try to make her smile but it just wouldn't help. Before I knew it she was ripped from my arms by the still unnamed girl which stayed in my bed mere minutes ago. It was magical, how the girls simple touch made Lux giggle again. They had become attracted to each other, in less than a week.

I pushed my hair back, she must have noticed I had been nervous about calming Lux down as she shot me a small smile, which I returned.

“Thank you for calming her.” I spoke gently. It must have been weird for her to hear me speak in not such a rude tone, or she just didn't expect me to thank her, since I left her silent again.

She eventually ended up shaking her head. “Thank you for you know, I mean you know. Yesterday. ” She looked around and her eyes landed on the door. “I really should be going uhm oh and Childcare.”

I raised my eyebrow when she didn't finish her sentence, making her continue to speak.

“It isn't open at night. You have to pick her up before 9 next time.” She watched Lux a little longer so she didn't have to face me. It was clear how she wasn't comfortable speaking with me, well the feeling was returned.

That's when I noticed she had her dress on instead of my shirt and my stomach slowly sunk. In some way I liked her wearing my shirts, being tangled between sheets. My sheets.

I felt like there was a need for her to be in my life, yet also a need to push her away. I was relieved when she left the room without saying anything else, though I wanted her to stay.

Just a little bit longer.

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DOUBLE UPDATE. This might happen more often because I like to have two perspectives of somethings. Uhm well yeah I hope you guys like it I guess. My summer break starts friday so from that moment I might upload more ofteennnn :D Shattered is my main project and you know my name will be updated in a while. I'm just taking my time for that one... I dedicate this to imaginator1D BECAUSE she helped me from my writersblock and after is the best thing I ever read and I just can't wait again for the next chapter. Hoping shattered might become as big as after one day!

Loads of love,

Lara xx