Shattered - H.S. |on hold|

Nineteen

The last few days were spent with Harry and I didn't mind, neither did my parents. They had seen a change in my mood lately, I had obviously been happier. When they wondered out loud what the reason was for my sudden outburst of smiles and happiness, I would just shrug it off and blame it on the weather. They didn't beg for more actually, they were just happy their daughter was finding joy in life so they could finally near perfection.

They didn't even ask where I spend my days, as long as I was smiling they wouldn't worry much.

Today it was the last Friday of the month, which also became the last day of childcare for me. The kids had been attached quite a bit to me and some even cried when I told them I wouldn't be around as much. They all made pretty drawings which I promised to put them up in my room. When the day was done Cleo and Harry picked me up. The two of them had spent the hours when I was at work together, a strong disliking for each other grew onto both of them, they teased each other as hell and when someone crossed the line they would call me and see if it was acceptable. What they didn't know was they were a lot alike, they both loved the same type of music, slept until noon, ate hell a lot and prefered ripped old clothes above new neat ones.

We had decided to spent the night in for today, have a party on our own since Lux was returning tomorrow and Harry didn't have to work tonight. Otherwise we would be straight down to Scott & Lewis.

We started with what Cleo called “a fancy cooked dinner” which was actually just pasta and our desert was chocolate cake. I skipped the last one though, my stomach doesn't really accept that kind of mix. We drunk wine along the pasta but I soon skipped to water, knowing what was coming next.

It was clearl a high school musical marathon wasn't Harry's thing but Cleo and I didn't care. We sang along each lyrics, whispered the sad words everytime Gabrielle spoke her goodbye towards Troy and we jumped up whenever she came back or when Troy went after her. As much as Harry complained about how childish we were and how the movie was the worst thing ever, I felt his eyes on me when I sang the romantic songs.

At one point he dragged me onto the cough and covered my mouth with his hand. I giggled into it, knowing for a fact he was joking. “Could you please just stop.” I wished I could hear his playfull tone but it was nowhere to be found. I simply licked his hand to let him go off me. But the reaction I gained out of it wasn't something I expected. He pushed me off and abruptly stood up.

“Just stop. I can't stand these songs, I can't stand both of you singing them and I don't even know why I'm here. You barely talk to me and I'm just sitting here, waiting for one glimpse of attention but all the two of you do is swoon about that singing gay guy.” He turned his back and rushed towards the door.

It felt like my heart was ripped out, stomped on and put back in again. I was having fun, if he wasn't he could just tell me. He didn't have to wait until he explode. Without a second thought I followed him outside. When I reached the front door I noticed him punching the wall on his left and for a change, he didn't frighten me.

He knew I was coming after him.

I noticed crimson red liquid streamed down his fist. My eyes stayed focused on his curled up fingers as I took silent steps towards him. He didn't notice me, his eyes staring blankly at the wall. Today I learnt that the little things are the reason that I feel happiness, but other little things are what anger Harry. He needn't attention since his parents passed, not feeling loved by anyone. But we both learnt that we cared enough for each other and that's what made him want attention again. It just angered him he didn't get some, and maybe the fact he knew someone that cared enough about him scared him.

It even surprised me how well I had become to read his features, his wall was completely gone and I surely was working on mine.

My fingers traced his knuckles, smudging them with blood. His flaring nostrils calmed down once his eyes met mine. “Aren't you scared anymore?” I noticed his voice was deeper as usual, I don't think I ever heard such a dark yet angelic sound. Pure contrast, but so beautiful.