Shattered - H.S. |on hold|

Twelve.

I poked at my food, just the smell was disgusting me. I knew if I ate it, I wouldn't keep it down. It was everything honestly. The vegetable I detested, my mother making it and the thought of Harry putting his parents on fire was sickening me the most. So many questions went through my mind as we just sat there, eating in silence.

Why would he put his parents on fire? Where did he find the strength to do that? Where was Lux when he did it, since she survived? Was Lux in the house and did he save her? Why would he save her when he put the house on fire? Well I assumed it was the house, I don't know if it could be anything else? Why was he still walking around in freedom when he basicly killed his parents? Was it self defence?

As more as I thought about what happened, the iller I got. I rushed towards the bathroom, letting everything out whatever there was on my insides. My parents didn't follow me, only the dog did and I accepted that. I knew why they didn't follow me, because they know it had been a normal thing for me once. At that point Eleanor started crying, I could hear it from the other side of the house.

I was harming this family just by how I was. And it harmed me to know that, they cared about me and I cared about them so much. My parents always understood it, but Eleanor never got the chance, maybe one day she will and Ashton didn't even realize what's going on.

The sweat that had been created on my forehead trickled down along with my tears as I emptied my stomach. Once finished I flushed the toilet and washed my face, drunk water just to clean my throat, ignoring the bitter taste that carresed the sides of it and brushed my teeth.

I made sure my tears had stopped when I slowly walked back to the dining room. Eleanor came rushing towards me, tears rolling down her cheeks as she hold a bandaid in her hand. She lifted my shirt to reveal my stomach and placed the bandaid right there.

I smiled down at the action and kneeled down when she was done, just to be at her eyelevel.

“Your tummy needs to be fixed Belle, a bandaid helps.”

I wrapped my arms around her, engulfing her in a hug with my arms that overtowered her soon my youngest sibling and my parents joined us in the middle of the floor. I know I was loved, that was sure. I know they cared for me, they probably cared more for me than any other family member and that's why I didn't fit in. I was the only one that needed care, while the others were perfectly fine I was messed up.

“Why don't you go over to Cleo love, you missed her and you need to pick up your stuff. She is a better comforter than we are. We all know that. I can't keep you here , you're better off with her. Or do we have to call her over and she'll bring your stuff? She can stay over if you want that, you know she's more than welcome, she always is.”

My mother whispered as we got back on our feet. But I declined and shot her a small smile.

“I'll just go to her, I want to see her flat one last time because after today I won't be going back, I don't want to risk nearing that Harry guy.”

Both my parents nodded in understanding and kissed my temples, handing me my keys and I made my way outside, silently praying before I started the car and letting some other tears fall out.

I prayed to never see Harry again, to go back and erase the few touches we shared. The match of yelling at each other which lead to a kiss, was that really only a week ago. I want to erase how he tried to touch me only a few days back and the pain I felt when I noticed him at the club, grinding against another girl.

Yet how disgusted I felt towards him, I couldn't brush off the emptiness of never seeing him again. In the few weeks of knowing him I had grown way closer to him than I should and maybe I didn't but my mind, my soul or even my heart did. Maybe we were like magnets, trying to keep a distance, but the attraction between both was way to strong, just the small distance would pull us to each other every time again. Since I was here again, in my car, ready to make my way to his block.