Mornings at Duke's (GirlxGirl)

What You Do To Me

I'd be lying if I told you losing you was something I can handle.

Song: Stone Cold/ Demi Lovato

Emily's POV

I felt my eyes burning due to excessive amounts of tears they had been producing in the last 24 hours. Slowly reaching up to another tissue, I blew my nose hard, still sobbing once in a while. I felt alone, meaningless... I felt stupid. Everything happened so fast, I didn't ask for this, I wanted my old life back. When everything was simple and I didn't feel like shit.

"Baby." A familiar voice called out. Hearing it made my pain both ease and made it more severe. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call, who to confide in. The stinging sensation of the loneliness I felt at the time doubled the pain. Because I lost her, I lost her because I was confused.

"Baby, are you okay? Do you need chocolate, sugar, anything?" Dan said, as for the first time I felt his hand soothing my back in circular motions. He was sitting next to me, looking at me with big, worried eyes. And when I looked at him, I felt guiltier than ever. He was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. He loved me, he cared, he bought me gifts and flowers, he was handsome, cute even. But I found something missing, something I couldn't point.

"No-o." My voice broke. After crying for hours, hearing my own voice made me cringe. I was a mess. I didn't realize her absence would have this much of a effect on me. I regretted saying everything a second after actually saying them however, I still believed I was right in some aspects.

I was the one cheating on my fiance, who I still deeply cared about. I just didn't know what to believe anymore, my feelings or my mind. I felt terrible for doing this to Dan. He didn't deserve any of this. Yet, yet I felt... something towards Melanie too, I can't deny. The thing I needed to figure out right know was, which one weighted more on my heart; Dan or Melanie?

Dan was sweet, caring, funny from time to time and had a big heart. Everybody loved him, he was handsome, tall with dazzling eyes that made my insides burn. It was great to hang out with him, live with him. I felt like a stupid teenager when he complimented me or prepared surprise dinners. I could imagine a future with him, babies, a home, family... He was the perfect person for the future husband and special person to live with.

Then there was Melanie...

She was careless, independent, irresponsible, arrogant and cold. I felt like she still, even towards me, had her walls high. And I still thought it all was just an act she did in order to protect herself from getting hurt. She liked teasing and annoying the hell out of me. God, she made me angry a lot too at those times! But... she was also sweet, caring. Whenever she flirted or got touchy I felt my lungs shrinking, my heart beating furiously. And when she kissed me...

I groaned and scream in to my pillow. I hated this! Before I met Melanie Stone my life was just getting better. I broke all my alcohol habits, I met the guy of my dreams, I got engaged. Everything was perfect. And then she came along and messed everything up! Now I didn't know what to feel, what to think...

"Do you want me to call Taylor?" Dan interrupted my thoughts. I found myself nodding weakly before he left to get his phone. But did I really want to talk with Taylor? I mean yes of course I wanted someone to pour my heart out but who said she was the one?

In the end I desperately wanted Melanie by my side. So I could snuggle to her body as her arms would wrap around my tightly and so securely. I would nuzzle my nose to the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent that always made me go weak on the knees. Her heart beats would calm me down as she soothe my back ever so slowly. Then she would peck my forehead, telling me everything would be okay. And I would miserably believe her.