Mornings at Duke's (GirlxGirl)

Apparently Lesbian

I was confused as hell. I didn't know if I should break up with Cam (even though we are not an actual couple) or just try to suck it up and be a big girl. Love takes sacrifieses right? But this is not even love. I just wanted to show Emily I was not all about fucking and using. I have feelings too you know...

Cameron took us to a fancy restaurant. He was such a gentleman when he opened my door for me and held my hand all the way to our table. I felt like crap. How could I not want a guy like Cameron? Practically every girl nearby was eye-fucking him. He had the looks, personality, everything.

But I didn't had the "butterflies", or the electric flow through me when I eyes locked. I didn't feel anything and that made it worse.

We sat down and ordered.

During the whold what kept the atmosphere normal was our small talks. It is okay to say I was bored abd a part of me wondered was he actually enjoying or was he so much of a gentleman he pretended not to notice my lack of enthusiasm and words?

Then the topic suddenly and unfortunatly changed to our plans in the future.

He said he wanted to open his own medical clinic one day. I felt so small, so... meaningless.

I was currently working at a café and the closest thing I could count as a future plan was getting a plasma TV. I really felt like I was nothing and it made me feel like shit. I didn't want to tell him that I had no plans, not after he told me his big dreams.

"Cameron?"

He looked up from his mashed potatos and meat. It was do expensive yet so little. I thought if this was the way rich people eat. They pay more to eat... less?

"Yes lovely?" I internally sighed at the nickname. Deep breaths Melanie, come on, it's like picking up a bandage.

"I'm..." he raised his eyebrows when I couldn't even utter a word. Without any warning, he put his hand on mine and soothened it with his big thumb, making everything in me shiver in guilt.

I too was in confusion of why I couldn't just break it of like I did with every other people. Am I... Am I becoming a softy like Adam said?! Maybe I was in love with Cameron.

Nah.

I didn't crave his attention, he was not on my mind constantly every second and the fact that I didn't want to become a couple and get serious was the deal breaker. So that's off the list.

It should be because of his personality. Damn it Cameron for being good!

At that moment he was giving me the puppy look and hell I didn't know what to say so, I panicked. Don't judge me I already felt bad for lying.

"I am a lesbian." I blurted the sentence like it was the most honest thing I could have ever said. It took only 1.8 seconds to realize what I just said and when I did, both of our eyes were widened. His from shock and mine from... shock too I guess. That was the worst break up line in the history. Oh god.

"W-what?" He shuddered still under the effects of the "little" suprise I just did.

"I love a girl." What the F?! I try to shut my mouth before the sentence even came out but it was too late. I was messing it more and more as I spoke.

He frowned and looked down, thinking for a second. I just bit my lip and waited for him to say something, anything at all at that point.

"Who?" The question took me by suprise as I gulped down hard, trying to find a girl name and nothing came. Nothing! It was just like my brain suddenly stopped working all at once. I was in deep shit and I deserved it.