Her Fate

FATE 6

Fate 6

If only

I kept on asking myself what has happened to my brother.

Why the heck is he courting me?!

This is so incest!  Illegal! Immoral!

"Baby, let's eat. Handa na ang hapunan." my mom said. Peeping through the door of my room.

"Yes mom. Susunod na ko."

I heaved out a heavy sigh. Gustuhin ko mang hindi bumaba pero I've got no choice.

I don't wanna face my brother.

But, ayoko ring makahalata sina Mom na may problema kami. Lola will be mad again if hindi na naman ako bumaba.

I went out of my room. And proceeded to the dining.

There, I saw my Kuya. Nakatunganga sa harap ng mesa. Mukhang lutang. His forehead, creasing.

"Jacy, umupo ka na at kakain na tayo." Mom.

Nagtama ang paningin namin ni Kuya. I saw his jaw clenched. Ako ang unang umiwas ng tingin, at umupo na lang sa upuang nasa harap niya.

Spell awkward.

"Nag-aaway pa rin ba kayong dalawa?" Lola asked authoritatively.

I can feel a lump on my throat. Kung sasabihin ko ang totoong dahilan, siguradong hindi matutuwa si Lola.

"Okay na po kami La. We already talked." malambing na saad ni Kuya. His gaze shifted on mine.

Lumakas ang tibok ng puso ko nung tinitigan niya ko.

I hate you Kuya!

"You should stop quarreling. Matanda na kayong dalawa. You should learn how to understand each other. Especially you, Harrison, ikaw ang matanda kaya intindihin mo ang kapatid mo. Lalo na at kakagaling lang niya sa aksidente."

"I'm sorry Lola."

"Tama na yan, aba'y kumain na tayo." Mom cheered up the atmosphere but for me, it never lightened up.

Minsan nahuhuli ko si Kuya na tumitingin sakin. He even served me food. And I cannot say no, dahil baka pagalitan na naman kami ni Lola.

I remained silent the whole dinner.

I went back to my room and nagmukmok doon.

Maraming gumugulo sa isip ko. Sino yung Matthew? Anong girlfriend? Kanino? At si Kuya....

He is inlove with me! My biological brother is freaking inlove with me!

I buried my face in my pillow. I am so frustrated. Pakiramdam ko marami akong dapat malaman. Pero, the people around me are mute.

My thoughts were disturbed by a phone call.

I checked it and saw Kuya's name on the screen.

Jade Harrison calling ...

Sasagutin ko ba? My hands were shaking as I swiped the green telephone icon on my phone.

"....Baby" Kuya's voice came in the line.

"Stop this nonsense Kuya!" I firmly said.

"If only I could Philline. If only I could." I can feel the pain in his voice. Alam kong kahit siya ay nahihirapan din sa sitwasyon. But how could he?

How could he fall in love with his own sister?!

"I'm damned Philline. And I'll forever be damned because I can't stop this feeling!"

I froze. My breathing hitched. I just can't believe everything that's happening.

"Can I see you?"  He begged.

My heart's racing again. Will I let him see me? Will I tolerate this nonsense?

"N-no Kuya. And please, stop what you're feeling! Mali yan! Sobrang mali--

"If only I could Jacy Philline! Matagal ko nang ginawa kung kaya ko! But heck no! Eversince I laid my eyes when you first came to the world, you already have my heart! You stole it and you never returned it Philline..."

Anong dapat kong sabihin? Natatakot ako. I love my Kuya very much but I know it's just a sibling love. Nothing more!

"If only I could Philline ....

....mahal na mahal kita....mahal na mahal...." he said and he's crying.

My world is falling apart everytime Kuya is announcing his love to me. Bakit ba ganito?! Bakit ako?! Bakit?!

"K-Kuya ...ma-matulog ka na.." was all I can say. I ran out of words and nangingilid na din ang luha ko.

"Please Philline, let me just see you before you go to sleep.."

But my decision was firm. I'm ending that feeling Kuya. I won't let that feeling destroy us. Our family.

"No kuya. I won't let you. I won't let you destroy us. Ang pamilya natin!"

With that, I ended the call.

I love my family more than anything else. And mahal ko din si Kuya. Hindi ko siya hahayaang sirain ang pamilyang kinalakihan namin, at ayoko ring mawalay siya sakin.

He's my best buddy. My best Kuya. The best person for me, next to Dad.

And I am determined to fix this.

Kung kinakailangan kong lumayo, para bumalik sa dati ang lahat,

.....gagawin ko.