promises.

4

  **trigger warning**

    "Riley." I whispered to him, glancing at the clock beside his bed. 3:05 am.

    "Riley." I whispered again, this time a bit louder than before.

       I saw a figure move in his bed.

    "Riley, I know you can hear me, talk to me." I told him, kneeling beside the bed.

     After a few moments of complete, deafening silence, I shook him.

    "What?" He snapped at me. "why are you in my room?" he asked me.

       "I wanted to talk to you." I told him. This is not the Riley that I knew a year ago. this is not the Riley that I fell in love with.

     There was more silence, followed by a scream in my mind.

     "I'd rather be spitting blood, than have this silence fuck me up." I whispered to him, I could still see him move in the pitch black, and that's what hurt the most.

    "then spit blood." he said to me, picking a pillow up and throwing it at me.

   A tear streamed down my face as I walked out of the room, slamming the door and collapsing on the ground just in between our bedrooms.

    I pulled the pill bottle out of my pocket, unscrewed the cap, and downed at least four or five. the tears and heavy breathing stopped after a while, and I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep. hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning.

*riley's pov*

  I awoke to the sounds of hushed cries, bright lights and ambulances.

      I struggled to get out of bed, and dart down the wooden staircase. god why did Oliver have to interrupt me in my sleep? he knows how cranky I can get in the morning. or at least, I hoped he remembered.

     As I walked slowly into the living room, I saw my dad hugging Angie tightly. she had tears in her eyes, and my dad was rubbing her hair and kissing her forehead and cheeks. he was always the best at comforting people. his gaze shot at me as I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

     "What's wrong?" was all I managed to ask, starting to hug my dad.

     Angie looked up at me, and pulled me into a tight hug.

   "Where's Oliver?" I wanted to ask.

  Not that I cared a whole lot.

Angie took a deep breath before starting her sentence.

     "The ambulance came to take Oliver, he had a huge breakdown at around 3:30 and I noticed a pill bottle beside him." She said, burying her face in her hands.

     I stood there, speechless.

     3:30 was exactly half an hour after he came to talk to me, and I shut him out. this is my fault. this is all my fault.

    I grabbed my jacket and the keys off the front table before dashing out the front door, slamming my car door as I got in, and speeding to the hospital. It was 4:30 in the morning, and fuck I was tired, but I could have killed someone. someone I still had a few tiny feelings left for.

    I pulled up into the emergency parking lot, locked the doors angrily, and wincing in pain as I walked across the snow and pebbles in front of the building. the bright lights from the inside blinded me for a short second.

     I ran to the front desk. "Oliver Smith." I told him Oliver's name and he directed me to a room.

    I got many stares from the waiting room as I darted through the hallways, down the corridors and into the empty room that Oliver lay in. his emerald green eyes were open, bloodshot, but open. his brown hair was messy on top of his head, and his face looked pale.

     as he saw me, he buried his face under the blankets.

     "hiding from me isn't going to stop the fact that I'm not leaving." I told him, removing the blanket from his face, revealing his teary green eyes.

      "funny how when I'm in a life or a death situation, that's when you decide to care." Oliver told me, I could feel the pain in his voice as he shot those hurtful words at me. I'd felt his pain for a long while now.

   "I've always cared, you were just never able to see it. now, I'm not supposed to be here and I'm going to be grounded, so please tell me, why did you do this?" I asked him ，grabbing his cold hand in mine. I could tell we were both too tired to move it.

     "come here." he told me, patting the bed with his free hand.

    I awkwardly moved myself next to him, and layed next to him. I liked feeling the warmness of being next to him again, even if one of us would probably wake up bruised and on the floor.

    I'd rather be spitting blood than have this silence fuck me up.

    Then spit blood.

How could I be so rude?

    I glanced at Oliver, taking in his closed eyes and half smile.

     it was at this moment that I realized I was still in love with him.

    even though I shouldn't be.

god damn why did society have to make things so hard?

I fell asleep then, uncomfortably, but still the burning sensation in my eyes had slightly faded.

   I didn't care.

I was next to him.

and that's all that mattered.

....for now.