promises.

8

it was awkward as we all piled into Rick's minivan. except the thing wasn't mini, it had seven seats in the back and 2 in the front.

Apparently we were going to his parent's house about an hour or two away. I begged my mom to let me stay home, yet here I am, stuck between Jordan sleeping and Riley fidgeting with something in his hand.

the worst part was, we were staying overnight, and I'd forgotten clothes for tomorrow and I'd never met them.
I'm surprised Jordan is taking this as well as he was, considering he was barely ever home and he probably had something he had to be at today.

I glanced at Riley, it was annoying being next to him and knowing I can't touch him or kiss him. it was almost torturous. but when he kissed me unexpectedly in the studio, that was odd. yet, it was great.

After what seemed like 2 years of driving, we pulled into the driveway of a huge mansion. the house and landscape around the whole thing was beautiful. there was a black picket fence that opened and bordered the long driveway. there was an in ground pool, and even though it was winter, it was shining as brightly as it could. there were many different plants and trees surrounding the outside of the house.

I smiled before rolling out of the van, and man, I wish I never had that coke. great.

Jordan yawned behind me and crossed his arms over his chest.

My sister Vanessa stood there, in complete awe.

Riley was different, he ran inside the house, meeting a short woman with whitish gray hair into a hug.

I always disliked being around this many people. but jordan is my beat friend, so it wouldn't be that bad.

I walked inside last, saying the typical 'hi' 'nice to meet you' shit and I decided I'd spend the rest of my time here in my room or out with Jordan somewhere. I was not going to talk to Mr and Mrs. Turner. I was not going to talk to Riley. as much as that would kill me, I'm not going to talk to him.

the room I was lead to had many posters on the walls of various bands and movies that I recognized. the blue and white bedsheets were done up nicely and the whole room looked really really nice. it had a view of the whole city from the back window, and an easy access to the roof. it looked like a son's old room.

"what are you doing in here?" I heard Riley's voice ask from the front door.

startled, I jumped.

"I was told this is my room. by rick." I told him honestly.

"well this is my room so get out." Riley said sternly. chill man.

"then where the fuck am I supposed to go?" I asked him, a little too harshly.

Riley shut the door quiety and he walked up to me. my breaths staggered, my chest tightened and my body heatened as he came up to me. the butterflies were instant.

"To hell." he whispered in my ear, before collapsing on the bed.

"I think I already am." I mumbled to myself. how could two years go down the drain like it was nothing? that's how riley made me feel, like I was nothing. like I didn't belong here. but he makes me strong, without him I feel weaker, almost dead inside. we were meant to be together, it didn't have to end the way it did, but because he was selfish, it did.

all good things come to an end.

but this didn't have to.

yes, I wanted to stay in the same room as him and talk through everything again, possibly re live some of our old memories. no, I wasn't going to tell him that. maybe, I was going to wait for him to offer.

"can I at least stay here during the day? I'm not sleeping at night." I told him, biting my nails.

"you're not?" he looked up at me with curious eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"where are you going?" he asked me. I'd just noticed now that he still had a ring in his left eyebrow, it was in the same exact place that it was the first day I met him. I wonder why he never took it out, or moved it.

"away from here." I told him. there's a massive forest beside this house, if I could leave by 7 pm, I could beat the pitch blackness and be home in the morning or in the middle of the night if things went as planned.

"there's nowhere to go." Riley told me. oh , but there was.

"to hell, apparently." I told him before walking out the door.

after a long day, and a nice dinner with all these nice people. (yes, they were actually nice once I got to know them) minus Riley. it was time.

I snuck upstairs, quietly leaving the loud hushed laughters from downstairs, shut Riley's door quietly and grabbed a jacket from the closest before opening the window and starting out to the darkness.

I'd gotten used to sneaking out at night, since my mom never let me out at nighttime, and there were parties and boyfriend's houses I had to go to.

oops.

the darkness surrounded me and the winter snow hit my feet as I walked through the forest, nervously.

I kept going until I saw a bit of light from the other side, emerging into the skyscrapers that I saw from Riley's bedroom window. the street lights were lit up in many different colours, but mostly reds，whites and greens. with Christmas about a week away ，apparently this whole country went wild.
I walked down a street, which I recognized now as Times Square. the lights on billboards were lit up and the whole thing was so beautiful. there were many people walking with their families, dogs and so many advertisements. one that really caught my eye was The 1975 North American tour.

I smiled just a bit, happy to get away for a while, but a small part of me wished Riley was with me right now, enjoying this. although he's probably done this multiple times over.

I glanced over at all the buildings, it was so beautiful I wanted to cry. I'd never been to the city of New York, I'd only lived in the state. It was actually somewhat surprising and disappointing that I had to leave tomorrow.

my mom could be happy if I asked to stay another day. but she would probably say no, which would be unfortunate.

Times Square has always been so beautiful, even if I'd never gotten a chance to come here before.

suddenly, my obsessive personality came over me and I started missing Riley. A lot. but I wasn't going to let that ruin me, I was having too much fun.

it would probably result in a grounding, but honestly it would be worth it.