BETTER THAN I CAN EVER HOPE FOR IN MY ENTIRE LIFE Book Four

Bella and Edward have an argument

                                     Bpov

 I slowly pulled back far enough and pressed my lips against his. I nibbled on his bottom lip to grant me entrance into his mouth and he granted me as I granted him the same. We finally pulled apart and he leaned against my forehead. "Does that mean you forgive me?"I nodded and sat back and signed. Take me home I need a shower and you are just the person to help me with it. He looked at me a minute. Until I smiled. "Ohhh, okay then let's get you home." He sat me down in the seat and buckled me in.

I giggled at his face expression. When Edward got into the driver's seat he started driving the truck. I leaned over and laid my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head. I thought about how I always felt about him since we were kids. I always wished for this. But where as my broken life gotten us.  The tears started to fall again. How I wished our life was different but I would never change the passion of our job.

When we got home he scooped me up and I buried my face into his chest and I wrapped my arms around his neck not letting go. I could hear everyone trying to ask Edward a bunch of questions. Then I felt Edward stop and tense up. Then I heard Carlisle firm voice. I was shocked and tighten my hold on Edward.  "Will you guys stop! Let Edward through. You can talk to them tomorrow. Just give them space right now please!"

 "Thank you dad!" I heard Edward say and then he started walking again. I heard a door being shut and being  locked. Edward finally set me down and when I looked I was sitting on the counter in our bathroom.  I watched as Edward took his brace of his arm. Wait where his cast go? I looked in confusion and looked up at me.

"Oh I had dad take off the cast so I could do more to help out." I just nodded. Edward turned and pulled off his shirt. Oh god how much I missed that. I started to chew on my  bottom lip. I tighten my grip on the counter. Edward turned the shower on. He turned around and looked at me. He gave me my favorite smile and shook his head then walked over to me. He put his hands on either side of me.

 "Do you have to look at me like that?" I nodded my head. Edward just chuckled. "Arms up!" I lifted my arms up and Edward slipped my nightgown off. He gently took the bandage off my leg. I wrapped my legs around his waist and snaked my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his.

He gripped my waist with his hand and I tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled away and took my wrist and unwrapped the bandaged from my wrist. Was he just turning me down. I felt his fingers go over beside the stitches and lightly go over the length of it. I pulled my arm against my chest and I grabbed my wrist with my other hand.

 I turned away from him and let the tears fall again.  Edward took his hand and turned me so I was looking at him.  He took his thumb and gently wiped my tears away but they just kept falling. "What is it Bella?" I looked at him a minute before I signed. You don't want me?

He looked at me confused. "What, of course I do. I just spent the last two hours in my truck telling you that I do." I signed again. I do not mean that Edward! He took his hand and gently cupped my cheek. "I do want you that way Bella. But you been healing and now your healing."
I moved his hand away from my face and signed. Stop! I am sick of hearing about me healing. All we down is fall apart and I did this.

I showed him my wrist. He tried to hold it and I pulled away. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I opened them again and started signing. All you done is pushed away from me. How can I help but not think you do not want me. This way or any way Edward. I tried to get off the counter but Edward stopped me.

"Why can't you see all I'm doing is trying not to hurt you or put you in anymore pain than what  you're in." I signed.  Because Edward. I just can not see that. All I see is people hurting me. All my life people hurt me you were suppose to be different. You were suppose to be my home, my safe place. But all I do is hurt you. That's why I feel like I am better off dead. Your ex wants me dead so does Charlie among a few other people. Why not make it easier insisted of you regretting being with me.

"You think I regret us being together Bella?" I pushed him away and slowly walked over to the shower and turned it off. I grabbed my bathrobe and put it on and walked out of the bathroom. "Bella answer me." He demanded. I turned around and signed.  Yes I do Edward. It is the way you act. God even in school you could not even see it then either. You don't see it now.

"See what Bella. What don't I see?" I signed again. "Me Edward! You do not see me. I would die for you and you do not see that.  I held up my wrist and showed him before I signed again. More than once Edward I give up my life just so you can have a life and not my broken life. You deserve so much better than me. Always have. Why can't anyone just let me die!"

                                         Epov

My eyes widen to what she just said. I walked up and stood in front of her.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN DO NOT TELL EVER HOW I FEEL.
FOR ONE I DO NOT REGRET ONE MINUTE I SPEND WITH YOU.
FOR TWO I DID SEE YOU. I JUST WISH I TOOK THE TIME AND SEEN YOU. WHY DO YOU THINK I STARTED VOLUNTEERING AT FORT CUSTER. IT WASN'T BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE IN NATURE AT THE TIME. I WANTED TO KNOW YOU EVEN THOUGH I WAS WITH A BITCH. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU I WOULDN'T OF FIGURE out how much I loved working for the forest service and what my passion really was. Besides your life is not as broken as you think it is." Bella started to sign. What did you say?

"Your life is not as broken as you think it is." She shook her head and signed. Before that Edward. "Oh the part that I did notice you and the real reason I volunteered at Fort Custer and how if it wasn't for you..." She stopped me by pressing her lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me. We pulled apart and she signed to me. And for Three?

"Do not ever wish you were dead ever again. Only because you might never see the best Christmas gift ever from me." She giggled.
I scooped her up and took her back into the bathroom. I walked into the shower and turned it on.

She squealed which made me laugh. I gently stood her up on her feet and looked down at her. "I don't regret one moment with you Bella. I cherish every moment we have together. My love for you just grows even stronger and I want to be with you that much more."

I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. I slowly back her up against the wall and deepen the kiss. We pull apart and Bella starts biting her bottom lip. "Do not move." I told her. I stepped back so I could take off my jeans and boxer.

I walked back up to Bella and noticed her bathrobe was off.

"You moved after I told you not to." She smiled as I just shook my head. "You never listen." She shook her head and then wiggled her finger for me to come closer to her. Which I did. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine.

I pick her up and she wraps her leg around my waist. I trail kisses along her neck.

 I do not own all my characters in my story Stephanie Meyers does.

 I own the rest of the characters and story.