Personal Thoughts: The Inner Workings of a Young Girl's Mind

Naive at it's Finest

The thought of someone ever liking me or showing interest in me was so foreign. It seemed as if it was one of the world's rarest things. I never really thought that someone could like me first, or that I was remotely attractive in any way. He did though, he showed me what I thought was rare, was more likely than I knew.

He was someone I never even noticed or thought about before, but when he got my attention I couldn't look away it was like I was in a trance. He captivated me and made me feel special again, but I should've known it wasn't going to last. I should've known someone couldn't like me and truly mean it. It didn't even last a month before he started to ignore my texts.

Going against my pessimistic ways I tried to assume maybe he was busy, then I stopped and realized I had started to feel something for him, and that just made me even more upset. Not in the way of wanting to cry, but in the way that I wanted to scream, throwing anything I could get my hands on, and hurt him so he knows how I felt.

I tried to convince myself it was just my head making me think I like him, but then again I couldn't stop thinking about him. I didn't want to believe he didn't feel anything for me, not the way he was talking to me and making me feel the way I did.

I really tried to tell myself it wasn't over, but I realized it was over when I was able to delete the messages between us. The messages where he made me feel important and special, the messages where I thought I had someone who cared for me.

I guess that's what happens when your heart is bigger than it should be, you are over-emotional, and you just feel way too much. It's not like I was even trying. It just happened I wish it didn't, I wish I would've just told him that's sweet but I can't like him.