Personal Thoughts: The Inner Workings of a Young Girl's Mind

A Rarity

You ever met someone that just makes you happy and you literally do not have any clue why.

Like literally since freshman year I've known about your existence because of a loudmouth carefree girl who thought nothing of it. So did I just thought ok just a name no face but then I saw the face then I met the face. Yet still we met and I thought nothing of it and said that's cool he's alright, funny, but nothing special.

I was in for a rude awakening when out of nowhere it's 3 years later and the random name and face I thought nothing of is now one of the most important people in my life. If someone showed past me what my life looked like I would have told them they were a lying idiot.

It's still hard for me to comprehend how quickly life changes and someone can be so big in it.

But then again these attachments aren't always what they're cracked up to be one-second things can be going so smooth so you think something is bound to go south and it does. Like always nothing new but this one hurts more than usual it's like I can feel my heart drop to my butt. It's like that piece of me that has attached herself to him is being ripped. All because I can't learn to take things as they come I always have to push more cause more problems then get hurt in the process even though it's on me.

I'm taking it for granted I should be grateful I've gotten this far and I can't act like I'm satisfied and keep things running smooth. Like I know it's good to talk about things because communication so supposedly good but sometimes talking just brings in too many feelings you get hurt and things get weird.

Though with that person it's like bouncing back as if nothing happens which is good like always my head keeps spinning but I don't say a word cause me trying to say things out loud don't work I get tongue-tied and frustrated. My anxiety makes me feel like the air is stuck in my throat and I start to panic and all I wanna do is talk about but I can't. Do you see the problem?

It's like being thirst having the water there but then you can't drink it.

Sometimes the best words are none at all because words make things change in an instant in a way you just didn't see coming.