The Nerd in High Heels

Chapter 12 - Blurry Endings

I let out a deep sigh.  I walk out the kitchen and drag myself back over to the couch with Lucas. He's watching Spongebob Squarepants. It's the Wumbo episode. I sit on the other side of the couch and curl up in a ball and snuggle up to the armrest and try to focus on the episode.  "That's why it doesn't work, because it's set to M for Mini, when it should be set to W for Wumbo." said Patrick in a dull-minded set of voice, reminding me of my early teenage years. I was so happy and so carefree then. What changed? I was snapped back into reality by Lucas. "Hey, you okay? You just kinda zoned out, and you missed the entire episode."  I sighed and nodded. "Yeah I'm okay. Just thinking, don't worry about it."I shrugged. He turned to me with a concerned look on his face. "Lyss. Tell me what's wrong." "Nothing. I swear. I was just thinking about my younger days." I responded calmly. He responded with a subtle, "Ok." and turned back to the show. I drifted off to sleep and began to wonder what changed about me.
-
-
I wake up in my old house, before we moved. I am woken up by the exquisite smell of freshly made bacon. I hear my mother call, "Alyssa! Breakfast is ready!" I pull my covers off and reply, "Coming Mom!" I get out of the bed and stretch, I walk over to my mirror and rub my eyes. It's me, as expected. Except I was 'Ten Ton Tammy' again. I was taken aback, but after a while, I'm fine with it. I get dressed and run down the stairs and walk over to the kitchen island. My mom brings out a plate of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. She sets it in front of me and tells me to dig in. I remember this day. This is the day that Jessie and Jessica made me their 'project'. I quickly finish eating and hurry to the bus.  My mom shouts after me, "Have a good day sweetie! I love you!" I hurriedly shout back, "Love you too!" and get on the bus. I go over to my usual seat and stare out the window. I forgot what my old neighborhood looked like, the blue and pink sky that also has just woken up. A sun that is so golden and orange, that it could be in a drawing. Trees that are dying, but still have a beautifully artistic look to them.  A river that's  blue and sparkles in the sunlight. I begin to daydream, about why I always found pain in this place. After a little while, the bus comes to a gentle stop. I get off and trot in the school with a nostalgic smile on my face. I walk up the stairs and hear Lucas Simpson call out, "Keep it moving Ten Ton Tammy! You're blocking up the entire staircase!"  Instead of crying, like I did last time, I screamed back, " FIGHT ME LUCIFER! NOT TODAY SATAN!" Everyone on the staircase stopped and looked at me with a surprised, but impressed stare. I turned and looked back at Lucas, he was the most surprised of all. I shooed him away with my hands, "Giddy up little donkey, you're holding up traffic." Everyone then started clapping, and continued going to their classes. I smirked and continued going to my first period class. I finally felt happiness and strength. The previous sadness that had overtaken my body was no longer there. The rest of the day I was floating on a cloud. I wasn't encountered by the twins, and I probably wasn't going to be encountered, by anyone. I went home and I had just had the best day of my life. I can't eat, because I'm too happy. As I went to sleep, it dawned on me. I didn't need to be skinny to be happy. I needed to accept myself to be happy. Skinny or not.

I wish I knew that sooner.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N: HEY! Sorry I haven't been uploading. I'm probably gonna stop doing the questions of the day. sorry. Love you!

~Jocelyn