A/N: inspired by the scenario Kidneys vs. Chicken from 4_Weasleys_avenging
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Harry and Hermione: * just hanging out in the lounge watching a recording of a game show with Brian on it*
Hermione: Bloody hell he's so chill...
Harry: Even the chilliest person in the battle of Hogwarts wasn't as chill as he is...
Hermione: And thro-
Ron and Eyeless Jack: * crash through the wall *
Ron: YOU GUYS WE NEED YOUR HELP!!
Harry: With what?
Eyeless Jack: To settle this debate Once and for all. To prove that Kidneys are way better than chicken.
Ron: In your dreams! Chicken is better!
Ron and Eyeless Jack: * start arguing *
Hermione: You know you could have used the door...* points to the door *
Ron: THERES NO TIME! * Grabs Hermione and Harry *
-------Later, in the dining hall------------
Eyeless Jack: Now here's what's gonna happen. Me and Ron have prepared some dishes. One with kidneys, and one with chicken.
Ron: And you two will give your honest opinion on which is better. * cough* chicken * cough*
Eyeless Jack: LET THE GAMES BEGIN! * sets first Dish *
Ron: * sets Dish *
Gordon Ramsay: * sits beside Harry *
Harry: Gordon?! What are you doing here?
Gordon: I'm here to judge some food.
Hermione: How did you even get in here?
Gordon: I have my ways.....
----flash back----------
Gordon: * In his house watching tv *
* senses Ron and Jack's ' cook off ' *
MY COOKING SENSES ARE TINGLING!! I MUST ATTEND. * sees Adam on motorcycle * Say can you give me a ride?
Adam: * drunk on Rockstar * sure thing bro.
--------One motorcycle ride later------
Adam: * crashed through the Mansion's wall * We're here.
Gordon: Thanks
----------flashback over---------------
First dish.....Chicken.....
Hermione: not bad
Harry: Pretty good
Gordon: YOU CALL THIS CHICKEN?! I CALL IT RUBBISH!!!* throws chair *
Next dish........kidneys......
Hermione: surprisingly good
Harry: * nods in agreement *
Gordon:.....THIS IS SO FUCKING RAW I FEEL LIKE IT WAS JUST RIPPED FROM A COWS ASS!!!!! * flips table * WHY IS THIS RAW?!
Eyeless Jack: how else would you eat it?
Gordon: I WOULD BE EATING IT COOKED THE WAY IT FUCKING SHOULD BE!!!! * Goes up to Ron and Jack* * gets two pieces of bred and puts it on the side of their heads* What are you two?!
Eyeless Jack and Ron: * hangs their heads * An idiot sandwich.....
Gordon: Now you two are going into that kitchen AND COOK THE BEST FUCKING MEAL YOU'VE EVER MADE DAMIT!!! * throws frozen turkey *
-----------Two Awesome Dishes later----
Gordon, Harry, and Hermione: * Finnish the meals and discuss the winner. *
Ron and Eyeless Jack: * so nerves they might piss their pants *
Gordon: We have decided.......the winner.........of....Kidneys vs. Chicken............is........
--------------commercial break-------
Gordon: KIDNEYS!
Eyeless Jack: YES* freaking out * * faints *
Ron: NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! BLASPHEMY!!!! I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED!!!* sobs* HERMIONE I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!!
Hermione: I'm leaving, before it gets worse. * slowly exits the room *
Eyeless Jack: * wakes up * * sees Ron sobbing in defeat * * puts hand on Ron's shoulder * Hey, man....I'm sorry it was pretty silly feud between us..
Ron: I guess it was....I guess it just depends on the person
Eyeless Jack: And their opinion.
Ron: * starts crying again* I'M SORRY MAN! I SHOULDN'T HAVE COMPARED CHIKEN TO KIDNEYS!!!
Eyeless Jack: I'M SORRY I RAMPAGED THROUGH YOUR SCHOOL THAT ONE TIME!!!
- The hug -
Ron: You're m-my * sniff * Best friend man.
Eyeless Jack: You're my best friend too!
Harry:........I thought........I was your Best friend.....* Celine Dion's " My Heart will go On " starts playing *
Gordon: My work here...is done. * leaves *
Hoodie: * walks in for a snack * * sees Ron and Jack hugging and crying, and Harry sitting in the corner playing Celine Dion*...................* Walks out *
