Confuse Me (An EXO Fanfiction)

I

Mei's POV

Luhan keeps telling me that I'll get over it. But I honestly don't believe I ever will. How does one simply just... throw away two years of feelings they've built up for a person? How does one give their heart away and then have it broken and just... get over it?

I loved Jongin. I still love Jongin. I know, it's strange to say you still love your ex when you're in a relationship with someone else, but it's true. No matter how hard I try, I can't be happy in this relationship, and I feel bad about how one sided it is. I just cannot reciprocate the love of someone else, when my heart is still Jongin's. He promised he'd keep it, and he did.

It's not like we had a choice. We had to break up after Luhan left EXO, because he and I went back to China, and with Jongin in Korea, long distance just became too hard. It wasn't as if I could just sneak out in the middle of the night to see him, he's an entire sea away. We always said that no matter what happened, we'd always have each other. But not seeing him just became harder and harder to bear every day, and we had no choice. And then I moved on. Or at least, I thought I did...

Luhan's POV

What is taking her so long?  I wonder. My sister, who's always the first one out the door, is still upstairs getting ready while I stand and wait downstairs for her at the front door. It's usually the other way around. Whenever we go out she's always ready before me and I hear her bouncing outside my bedroom door and singing what she calls her "Hannie Hurry Up" song, that goes a little something like this:

Hannie hurry up

You're taking way too long

Hannie hurry up

Hurry up and come along

But today is different. Today there's no bouncing. No singing. Instead just... unusual silence. I decide to go investigate. As I approach her door, I can hear what sounds like crying. "Mei?" I knock softly with my knuckles. "Mei open up please". I hear her feet shuffle across the floor and she opens the door, then she stands there with her arms open for a hug.

"What's the matter baomu?" I hug her tightly and sit on the floor, allowing her to sit in my lap. She looks up at me and shakes her head. "I can't do it dage. I can't go with you today. You know I love going on all sorts of outings with you but... I can't see him" she sniffles. "What? Why not?" I frown. When I had first told her Kai and the boys were coming for a visit, she had been so excited to have the chance to see them again. What's changed? "I just can't do it. I can't spend several days with him, and fall back in love with him, just to have him leave again" Mei says, resting her head on my shoulder as tears fall down her cheeks.

"But Mei, I thought you've moved on, what about Tengfei?" I frown. "You don't understand... I can't move on... I can't throw away two whole years of feelings! Luhan I could never love Tengfei the same way I love Jongin. In fact... I never really loved Tengfei at all. I can't. I can't give my heart away to another man when Jongin is the only one who has the key... Dage... I love him..." she buries her face in my shoulder, staining my shirt with tears. "Mei..." I sigh and slightly rock her, which usually calms her when she's having fits like this. At that same moment, my phone goes off in my pocket. I take it out of my pocket and after a moment of hesitation upon seeing that it was a FaceTime call from Kai, I answer it and hand the phone to Mei. "Talk to him" I tell her gently. "Only you can figure this out...".

With that, I leave the room and sigh, sitting down with my back to the door. I feel like banging my head against it honestly. The truth is, this is the first time I don't know how to help her. This is the first time she's ever had a problem that I can't help her through and I hate it. But there's nothing I can do about it. This time... I suppose I really do just need to let her figure it out on her own. I sigh and lean my head against the door, trying my best to hear their conversation. It's silent for a while. A good five minutes of silence pass before I finally hear a quiet whimpered utterance of "Jongin..." from Mei.