Confuse Me (An EXO Fanfiction)

XI

Chanyeol's POV

    "Man, you could cut the tension with a knife in here" I break the silence by saying what I'm pretty sure we're both thinking. Kai just huffs and stays silent. "Look, it's not like I meant to tell her..." I try to reassure him. "Bullshit" he glares sharply at me and I swear, if looks could kill I'd be dead instantaneously. "Kai, why don't we just try  to talk about this civilly?". "Fine" he grumbles. It seems that since he came in here, his speech has been limited to just one word at a time and nothing else. "You wanna say anything?" I ask, hoping he'll actually utter a coherent sentence and not just simple one word grumble. "Nope" he speaks into his lap. "Nothing other than the fact that you're trying to take her away from me".

    "What? No way. What gave you that idea? I mean yeah, I had to clear the air and tell her I like her, but that's as far as it's going". Okay, well that's a lie. But I'm not about to tell him I kissed her, because if I do he might kill me with more than his glare. "I know how much she means to you, Kai. I know how happy you are with her. I can't take that away from you. Plus, I see how happy she is with you. And all I want is for her to be happy. Because all romantic feelings aside, she's my best friend. And she means more to me in that way than she ever could in any romantic context". I can't tell how much of what I'm saying is actually true. I mean Mei's happiness does mean a lot to me, that part is true. But the 'all romantic feelings aside' part? That's a lie. I don't want to ruin our friendship by falling deeper in love with her, but every time I look at her I just can't help it. She gives me butterflies and she doesn't even have to try.

    "I think we just ruined it for both of us" Kai says quietly. "She  wants nothing to do with either of us anymore. At least not romantically anyway". I sigh and look down at my shoes."You're probably right" I agree. "Probably? She just flat out told us she doesn't want to be around us anymore!" Kai shoots up off the bed and slams his fist against the door. "She didn't mean forever, Kai" I stand up and cautiously put a hand on his shoulder. Expecting him to hit me, I flinch when he turns around. But my fear dissipates when I realize he's crying.

    "I'm sorry, Kai" I open my arms, offering to hug him. I know it's a stretch because he's pissed at me, but maybe, just maybe, he'll let me comfort him. To my surprise, his arms fly around me in a tight embrace. "I give up Chanyeol!" By this point he's full out sobbing. I don't think I've ever seen Kai like this before. "What do you mean you give up?". "I mean I can't pursue her anymore. I should've just given up when I found out she had a new boyfriend. I knew I'd never be able to have the same relationship with her that I used to. And now look at all the shit I've put her through. She probably hasn't even told Tengfei about me". "Actually, she told me she broke up with him..." I tell him. "Oh great, now I feel like even more of an asshole. I ruined what could've turned out to be a great relationship!" he starts sobbing again.

    "It really wouldn't have been though. I mean she told you herself that she wasn't happy with him" I try my very hardest to reassure him. He sniffles and stares up at me with sad puppy dog eyes. "But that was because of me..." he whimpers. "She wasn't in love with him because she was in love with me. Look at what I've done! All I've done is cause her emotional stress Chanyeol!". He pulls himself away from the hug and slides down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest. "I'm a terrible person... Just terrible.".

    I sit down beside him and take his chin in my hand, gently turning his head so I can look him in the eye. "Kai, listen to me. You are not the bad guy okay? Feelings can't be controlled, so it's not your fault alright?". He sniffles and blinks away his last few tears. "A-alright..." he whispers softly. "You're right, I-I'm not the bad guy". "No, you're not. You're actually a wonderful person, and I mean that". I look him straight in the eye, just to make it clear that I'm one hundred percent sincere.

You know, sitting here and staring him straight in the eye has somehow caused the rest of his face to catch my attention. I don't think I've ever actually looked at Kai's face in such close proximity before. I've never noticed how cute his face actually is. He has a baby face really, and to a certain extent it's almost irresistible. He's got these big brown puppy eyes that have a certain twinkle in them whenever he's happy or excited, which is almost all the time. He's also got the cutest little button nose, and these pouty lips that you could just...

Before my brain can even register what's happening, my lips find their way onto Kai's. I want to pull away, but at the same time I don't. What am I doing? I don't know, but I'm not getting any protest from Kai. In fact, his response is the opposite of what I expected. He gingerly wraps his arms around my neck and softly kisses me back. Our lips seem to move in some sort of rhythm, and the part of me that wanted to pull away completely disappears. As we pull away from each other, I see a light blush creep its way onto his cheeks. My heart flutters when he smiles at me. What is happening? Since when do I feel this way about Kai? I...

I love him...